They both looked up, startled, as Emmy Miller, whose grandparents ran The Driftwood Hub, handed Jenna a packet of tissues. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered, ‘but I couldn’t help noticing… None of my business, but I hope you’re all right.’
She patted Jenna on the shoulder and headed back to the counter.
‘What a lovely girl she is,’ Kendra said, smiling after her. ‘Always so helpful and friendly, isn’t she?’
Jenna nodded bleakly, pulling a tissue from the packet. ‘Yeah. She is.’
‘So, when you say you love Joel,’ Kendra said, after taking another sip of her tea, ‘are you absolutely sure that’s the case? Given that he began cheating on you so early in your relationship, are you sure it waseverthe case?’
‘When Niall walks into a room,’ Jenna asked slowly as she wiped the tears from her cheeks, ‘how do you feel?’
Kendra smiled and leaned back in her chair. ‘My heart leaps,’ she admitted, her eyes sparkling as she gazed into the middle distance, clearly remembering such moments. ‘I feel all fluttery, like there are butterflies in my tummy.’ She returned her focus to Jenna and pulled a face. ‘I know, I know. Proper cliché, isn’t it? But it’s true. He still makes me feel that way, even after all these years.’
‘But that’s how I feel when I see Joel,’ Jenna said, confused. ‘My heart pounds, and my pulse races, and my stomach churns…’
Kendra gazed at her for a moment. ‘That doesn’t sound at all the same,’ she said at last. ‘That sounds more like a fear response, if you ask me. When I see Niall, I feel happy and warm and completely contented. Is that how you feel when you see Joel?’
Jenna considered it. She’d assumed that the churning and the heart thumping was a pleasurable experience, born of love, but could she honestly say she felt the way Kendra did when she saw Niall? There was no feeling of contentment, that was certain. But there was… anxiety perhaps?
When she thought about it, she realised that there was a certain urge to hold tightly on to Joel, because if she didn’t someone else might come along and take him away. She didn’t feel secure or safe or happy. She felt…
She mentally shook her head, not able to put into words how she felt. But one thing was certain, it didn’t make her look the way Kendra had just looked when she spoke about Niall.
‘When… when Sam arrived at the barbecue,’ she said falteringly, ‘I felt something else.’
Kendra’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she did an admirable job of reining them in and making them behave.
‘Oh?’ She was clearly trying to sound neutral about Jenna’s statement, but the curiosity and excitement in her eyes were obvious. ‘What was that?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jenna admitted. ‘But he did look ever so nice in that pink shirt and black jeans, didn’t he?’
Kendra grinned, all pretence vanished. ‘You’re not wrong there. Our Rosie was agog! I hadheardthat you and Sam had grown closer,’ she said cautiously.
Jenna was horrified. ‘From who?’
‘Oh, just a little dicky bird,’ Kendra said innocently. ‘Don’t look so shocked. You do realise you’re living in Kelsea Sands, right? Your every move and word is scrutinised and analysed here. Even Emmy knew you needed a tissue before you did, and she’s busy serving people at the counter.’
She nodded over to where Emmy was occupied taking an order from a couple of middle-aged women who were anxiously scanning the cafe for a free table.
‘It’s a shame that the pub’s for sale,’ Kendra added. ‘Did I tell you Niall and I saw it advertised in an estate agent’s window in Millensea yesterday? We’d gone out for fish and chips, and as we were walking to the shop we had a little look in the window, as we always do – just daydreaming obviously – and there it was. So it seems Seb’s really made up his mind.’
‘He has,’ Jenna said sadly. ‘He’s making a big mistake, I’m sure of it. He helped out in the bar last night and he looked so at home.’
‘He helped out in the bar?’ Kendra looked delighted. ‘Well, that’s progress, isn’t it?’
‘He was with Stella and she said she fancied a lemonade, so he decided to come down and pour it for her himself,’ Jenna told her. ‘I was kind of hoping there was more to it than that. The customers were clearly delighted to see him back. Mum, Mac, and your in-laws popped in for an hour and they all think he’s barmy to let The North Star go. Stella does too. She told him that the pub could be a goldmine, but he just shrugged and said good luck to whoever took it over, then.’
‘Well, I suppose if his heart’s not in it any longer, what can he do?’ Kendra said with a sigh. ‘I have to admit, I can’t imagine ever getting over it if anything happened to Niall. God, it doesn’t bear thinking about. Poor Seb. And poor Sam. He gave it his best shot, though. He has nothing to reproach himself for.’ She brightened suddenly. ‘Anyway, you were saying. About Sam…?’
‘The thing is,’ Jenna said, her voice dropping to little more than a whisper, ‘I do like Sam. A lot. And I think… I mean, there’s nothing definite been said, but there have been a couple of moments.’
‘Ooh.’ Kendra looked thrilled. ‘Moments!’
‘But I don’t know,’ Jenna explained. ‘I don’t know what it is I feel for him, let alone what he feels for me. What if I’m just latching on to him because my husband’s rejected me? This could be one of those classic rebound cases. I do have form,’ she added, embarrassed.
‘Doyou?’ Kendra’s eyebrows betrayed her once again, to Jenna’s amusement.
‘You’d have to torture me to make me tell you about that,’ Jenna said. ‘Wild horses wouldn’t make me reveal that secret.’
