‘Your mum would never do that! Not without asking you first.’ Kendra shook her head. ‘I’m surprised you’d think otherwise.’
Jenna sipped her tea guiltily. ‘You’re right, of course. I’m not thinking straight, am I? My head’s all over the place. Honestly, I don’t know what to think about anything.’
‘So, Joel’s really cheated on you before?’ Kendra asked. ‘You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I should point out that I have clients who rely on me to listen to their woes and here I am, offering my considerable expertise without even being asked.’
Jenna gave her a wry grin. ‘Kendra, you’re adebtcounsellor.’
Kendra wrinkled her nose. ‘That’s beside the point. I’m an excellent listener just the same.’
‘I suppose it can’t do me any harm. Might even do me some good. There are some things I could never tell my mum. This is between you and me, right?’
‘Jenna,’ Kendra said, calmly buttering her scone, ‘I’m a vicar’s wife and a trained counsellor, both jobs requiring absolute discretion. How much more convincing do you need?’
‘Fair point.’ She glanced around the cafe, which was extremely busy. Hardly surprising given the blue skies and sunshine outside. Just a few yards away, people were sunbathing on the beach. She lowered her voice and leaned closer to Kendra.
‘He cheated on me even before we got married,’ she confessed. ‘I never told anyone. Mum still doesn’t know. I thought we were going to have to call the wedding off at one point, but it sorted itself out just in time.’
‘When you say, “it sorted itself out”,’ Kendra said with a frown, ‘you mean what exactly?’
‘He came to his senses. It was all about nerves, you see, and I sort of understood that. I mean, it hurt like hell but…’
Kendra buttered the other half of her scone, saying nothing as Jenna told her about the time Joel had left her when she was expecting the twins, and how she’d taken him back because, well, what else was she supposed to do? And how, since then, there’d been goodness knows how many affairs and meaningless flings.
‘I always sort of know,’ Jenna mused, gazing out of the window unseeingly. ‘It’s like, my brain picks up these little bits of information, but I don’t want to examine them too closely, so it stores them away for later use.’
She thought about it for a moment, stirring her tea for no good reason. ‘Like, one time he was seeing someone, I remember distinctly that he came home late one night, and I’d already gone to bed, and when he came into the bedroom he asked me if I’d prefer him to sleep downstairs. I was half asleep, but I remember thinking, what a strange question. And I told him of course not, and he got into bed and turned his back on me, and I fell asleep immediately because I hadn’t properly woken up. And yet…’
‘And yet your mind recognised the conversation as significant,’ Kendra said, nodding.
‘Later, when I thought about it, I realised that was probably the first time he’d slept with his latest fling,’ Jenna admitted. ‘If I’d just paid attention to that warning in my head… I don’t know.’
‘My mother’s ex-husband, who found himself in the same boat a few years ago, told me the same thing. It’s like, deep down he knew, but he just couldn’t face the truth.’
‘Which ex-husband?’ Jenna asked, knowing Kendra’s mum had been through quite a few of them.
Kendra shrugged. ‘Robert. Was he number three or four? Anyway, he said that when it all came out, all those little memories came to the forefront, and there was this big “aha!” moment. Like in a murder mystery. All the clues were there but he just didn’t put them together. Sounds like you’re the same.’
‘You must think I’m very stupid,’ Jenna said glumly.
‘Why would I think that?’
‘Because I’ve put up with it.’ Jenna blinked away tears. ‘I don’t even know why I have. He’s been a rubbish husband and father, and yet I still love him.’
‘Do you?’ Kendra asked curiously. ‘Are you sure about that?’
‘It’s all right for you,’ Jenna told her. ‘You have the perfect marriage. The perfect husband. You and Niall get on so well, and neither of you would do anything to hurt the other. You’re so lucky.’
‘Yes,’ Kendra said thoughtfully, ‘I suppose we are. Niall’s the only man I’ve ever loved.’
‘And Joel’s the only manI’veever loved!’ Jenna said wretchedly.
‘But the difference is, Niall’s loved me back. He’s never hurt me or lied to me. We’re a team, a partnership. I know I can rely on him completely and he can rely on me. Can you say the same for Joel? Could you ever?’
Jenna wiped her tears away with the heel of her hand. ‘Oh, God! Now my nose is running,’ she said, exasperated.
Kendra rummaged in her bag. ‘I’m sure I have some tissues in here somewhere…’
‘Tissue?’
