Louisa had followed her once or twice and would see her with other men. She started drinking herself for a few months, when she felt she couldn’t cope with the responsibility of looking out for her and her sister all the time. After using vodka to block out her horrible life, she understood why Mum drank so much. Alcoholgave her an edge and numbed the feeling of hopelessness. But she soon realised that she didn’t want to be reliant on it.
Mum brought home lots of men, strangers who she assumed used her for sex. Luckily nothing ever happened with her and Sarah, although there was a time when Sarah started to drink too. She would have been about fifteen. Louisa was still at home at that point, still the parent to her. But she was staying at her friend, Martin’s, flat too, to get away from the house. It wasn’t a nice place to be.
Had she known she and Sarah would lose touch when she left for Mapleton, and that her life would end up how it was, she might have thought twice about leaving. But she was young and in love. Naive to a fault.
That same night, Sarah lay in bed unable to sleep. It was so quiet she couldn’t settle, which seemed ridiculous really. But she was used to much more noise than the occasional hoot of an owl. She wondered if it had taken Louisa long to settle when she had first moved to Mapleton. Sarah couldn’t wait to explore the village, to see what it had to offer a twenty-year-old city girl.
Seeing Louisa today, you wouldn’t have thought they hadn’t been in touch for so long. Looks wise, Louisa had changed a little, but she seemed to be the caring sibling that Sarah remembered. So why hadn’t she kept in touch with her, or her friends? Sarah could understandher not contacting Mum because they didn’t get on, but to leave her little sister all that time?
She would ask her about that when the time was right. First she wanted to settle in, get her feet under the table, so to speak.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
2016
The school-leavers’ disco wasn’t the place where Sarah expected to get together with her first love. She had known Jessie Davidson since she was twelve and only now, both sixteen, during the final week of their last term, he gave her the come on.
She’d eyed him from afar for a long time, always thinking he was out of her league as he’d been going out with Shannon Trent since time began. But it was as if walking out of the school gates for the last time had given him the need to chat to her.
Louisa had never liked Jessie. ‘He’s an idiot,’ she’d often say when she caught Sarah fawning over him on Facebook. ‘He got Shannon pregnant and yet he can’t keep his hands to himself even now they have a son.’
‘They’re not together now,’ Sarah had told her. Yet still Louisa went on about his lack of qualities.
But Louisa wasn’t here now to tell her what to do. Since she’d left Derby, Sarah had barely spoken to her. For the first week or so, there had been lots of phone calls to see if she was okay but then the calls became fewer and further between. Every time Sarah asked if she could come and see her, Louisa was too busy going here, there and everywhere with Richard. It was as if she’d forgotten her roots the minute she left the house.
The school hall had been decked out with balloons and the paper chain streamers that came out every year. ‘Good Luck’ and ‘Congratulations’ banners were strewn across the stage where the local DJ had blagged a spot for the night. The music wasn’t exactly modern, but it was fun to dance to.
She spotted Jessie smiling at her across the dance floor, giving her the attention she craved. Deciding to go with the flow, she smiled back. He looked smart in jeans, Timberland boots, the sleeves of his checked shirt rolled up to reveal tattoos on each forearm. His dark brown hair was short and spiked and looked as if it had taken him a while to get just right.
While the girls jigged in circles and the boys watched from the edge of the room, Jessie beckoned her over.
‘You glad this is our last week?’ he shouted in her ear.
‘What?’ she shouted back, not catching a word of what he’d said. He reached for her hand and they wentout into the corridor away from the noise, where he repeated his question.
‘Definitely,’ she said, sad when he let go of her.
‘Me too.’ Jessie nodded. ‘I’ve got a job lined up for next Monday, working at Saville Bros, the builder’s merchant on the high street. Do you know it?’
‘Yes, cool. I have the summer off before college in September.’
‘What are you studying?’
‘Just getting A levels for now, I think. I don’t have a clue what to do yet.’
‘Me neither. I might try and get a job as a car mechanic. This will tide me over until then.’
They smiled at each other, almost shyly, considering how long they’d known each other. It didn’t bother Sarah that he had a son with Shannon. Chances were it wasn’t his anyway, because Shannon had a rep as a sleep-around. Sarah wouldn’t have put it past her to pretend Jessie was the father.
‘Wanna go out?’ he said, reaching for her hand. ‘You and me, one night?’
She nodded. ‘Yeah, maybe.’
They grinned at each other again and then he kissed her. Even at her tender age, she wasn’t a virgin. She had given herself to one of the fifth years when she was fifteen, keeping it from Louisa when she’d thought she was pregnant before, thankfully, starting her period two days later. It would have been just her luck to be caughtout first time and even though it was a one-off with the boy, she hadn’t wanted to do it with anyone else again since. She’d also got herself on the pill pretty sharpish for precaution.
Jessie had walked Sarah home that evening.
‘Is no one in?’ he asked when the house was in darkness.
