Usually she’d speak to her older sister about make-up – well, about anything really – but just lately Louisa didn’t have any time for her. Not since she’d met some bloke who lived in the country.
So when Louisa told her the news, Sarah wasn’t prepared for it.
‘I have something to tell you,’ Louisa said as she pulled down a large suitcase from the top of the wardrobe and placed it on her bed. ‘I’m moving in with Richard.’
‘What? But you’ve only known him for five minutes!’ Sarah protested.
‘It’s four months, actually,’ Louisa replied, unzipping the case. ‘You’ll know when you get to my age that love is a wonderful thing and can claim you in a matter of minutes. I knew from the moment I saw Richard that I wanted to be with him.’
‘Oh, please.’ Sarah made a vomiting motion. ‘There’s no such thing as love at first sight.’
‘How would you know? You’ve never been in love.’
‘I know but…I just think it’s a bit drastic to move in with him and be so far away. Do you have to go?’ Her voice became whiny. ‘I can’t cope here without you.’
‘Yes you can.’ Louisa stopped what she was doing and sat down next to Sarah. ‘You’ll be finishing school in a few months and it’s time to take care of yourself. And besides, I’m only moving forty miles away. You can come and see me any time you like.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Sarah huffed. ‘How am I going to get to you?’
‘On the bus, or by train and I’ll pick you up at the other end.’
Sarah said nothing as Louisa resumed her packing.
‘You should be staying here,’ she insisted. ‘I need you.’
‘You have to get used to being on your own sooner or later.’
‘But not yet! I can’t survive with only Mum around. She doesn’t care about me. All she wants to know iswhere her next drink is coming from. You shouldn’t want to leave me with her.’
‘Life isn’t fair, kiddo.’ Louisa folded a jumper up and put it in the suitcase. ‘I’ve had no fun yet and I’m twenty.’
‘I don’t want you to go!’
‘Give it a break, Sarah.’ Louisa sighed, her shoulders drooping. ‘It can’t always be about you.’
Sarah had the decency to look sheepish. Louisa was right. Itwasn’tall about her. But it was hard at her age to look towards the future without her sister close by. Why couldn’t she have settled down with one of the men around the estate? That would have been okay as she could have visited whenever she wanted to.
If truth be told, she was scared of being on her own. Louisa was always giving her the odd fiver here and there and if she didn’t have anyone to turn to, how would she cope? She was used to being in the house alone for long periods of time, fending for herself. She was fifteen after all. But she wasn’t sure she could manage without Louisa around all the time. She was her rock, her go-to person whenever she had a problem. She had friends to chat with, but no one was like Louisa.
‘I’ll miss you,’ she said, standing up to hug her tightly.
‘I’ll miss you too.’ Louisa hugged her back. ‘But you can text me any time you like, to save your phone credit.’
Sarah sighed, sitting down again. She pulled herknees up to her chin and grasped her legs. Maybe it was time she grew up and stopped being dependent. She was aiming to go to college in September, make something of her life soshecould leave the shitty estate she lived on too. There were no decent jobs to be had around here. She didn’t want to end up like Louisa, working in the biscuit factory on a conveyor belt.
Once she had left school, she would have the world at her feet. She was going places, she was certain. But first she would have to learn how to survive without her big sister.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Although nervous about seeing Sarah again after so long, Louisa had been excited too. As it was Richard’s idea to contact her, she hadn’t been sure it would happen. She’d thought he was playing with her emotions. He often did that, promised her something and then didn’t follow through. But his thoughts about it giving her a boost, as she’d been feeling so low lately, were nice to hear and it made a welcome change.
As soon as Louisa had seen Sarah, it was as if their time apart melted away. She hadn’t realised until then how much she had missed her. They had been so close when they were growing up. Although there was an age gap between them, they’d been through a lot together and it had made them stronger. If it weren’t for that stupid argument they’d had when she’d last visited Derby, when Sarah kept saying she’d abandoned her, things might have been so different.
But they had both inherited their mother’s stubborn streak and after harsh words had been said, neither of them had wanted to wave the white flag of surrender. The silence had continued until it felt too long to get in touch anyway. And every time she was thinking of going to Derby to talk to her, Richard would have something he needed to do, or he’d treat her to a day out. She presumed he wanted time with her whenever he could fit it around his work. His painting was so important to him so she didn’t blame him then.
Louisa recalled a time when she and Sarah were inseparable as children, even more so when Dad left and they were stuck with looking after Mum, rather than the other way around. She wasn’t a caring mum. All she was interested in was where her next drink would come from. Sometimes Louisa thought she forgot she had two children.
They fended for themselves mostly, even though lots of times they went hungry. They’d get home from school to no food in the house and a note to say Mum would be back later. They never knew where she would be, or who with, more to the point. Her one true love in life was alcohol.
