“Then I’ll carry you,” he says softly. “For as long as I can.”
“Until sunrise, you mean?”
“Yes.” Regret tightens his expression. “Until sunrise.”
“And then you’ll hunt me again?”
He swallows. Pauses long enough that I almost hope he’ll give me another answer. But he doesn’t.
“Yes. And then I’ll hunt you again.”
Chapter 18
Idrift for a while, lulled by the Shadow’s rhythmic strides. I don’t care that troll blood spatters us both, that green globs dry crusty in my hair. I don’t have the energy to care aboutanythingexcept the Shadow’s embrace. And the way his smell washes over me, comforting and somehow different than Amriel’s. Without his armor, the notes of leather and metal have receded, making way for…whatisthat?
I sniff at him discreetly. The castle, I realize. He smells like the castle. Like magic and wildness and things that grow. Things thatglow.
I snuggle deeper, gratified by the way he keeps me plastered against one side of his chest while his other hand curls around the dagger. Up close, his skin glitters like mica, his pulse flickering steadily beneath the angle of his jaw, and my lips tingle as I imagine pressing a kiss there. A soft, silent thank-you for saving my life. Again.
He must feel the thought pooling in my mind, because his arm coils tighter around me.
“If you do that,” he says, his voice hoarse with strain, “it won’t stop there.Iwon’t stop there. It will be almost as bad as if you’ve run from me.”
Images pour into my head, along with snippets of sensation—the ground digging into my back as his weight pins me down, the carefulglide of claws as he shreds off these delectable leather pants. The stretch of my muscles as he?—
I unpeel my cheek from his shoulder. “Delectable? Why don’t you just stop right there. These pants are ridiculous.”
A faint violet flush dances across his cheeks, the glowing patterns there darkening. “They’re not ridiculous. At all. And I can’t help what I think about. It’s just… Well. I’ve told you before. Goblins are simple creatures.”
I weigh that. Heisn’tsimple, not really. A whole universe swirls within him, a complex ballet of wants and wishes, devotion and desire, a need so essential it makes my bones hurt. But it all drives toward a single purpose, which maybe counts as the same thing.
“So those were your thoughts I saw, just now?” I say, my arms looping tighter around his neck. “Not bits of a possible future?”
He treats me to a sidelong glance. “Bits of a possible future? Why would you see that?”
“Well, that’s what Amriel said. That sometimes, when we touch, I’ll see pieces of a future that could be.”
A soft snort fills his nose. “Did he.”
I frown at his tone, at its implications. “He did. In the solarium. Before I went into the Wildwood.”
Which seems like ages ago, now, because so much has changed since then.I’vechanged, and had so many brushes with death that, at this point, I’ve lost count.
“Those were definitely my thoughts,” the Shadow says, an undercurrent in his tone. “Though, if you really want to know, those arealwaysmy thoughts.”
Heat creeps into my cheeks. “Oh. Really? But then how…” My voice trails off to nothing, my flush deepening.
“What?”
“I just don’t understand. How you resist.” I sound flustered, even to myself, and scramble to recover. “I mean, I’ve seen how badly you want…um…”
One moonlit eyebrow lifts. “You?”
I swallow the sudden thickness in my throat. He said it, not me. “Yes.”
A laugh vibrates his chest. “Trust me, if I were any other goblin, I wouldn’t be able to. But I’ve been stuck in this form a long time. Two hundred and twenty-six years. I’ve learned to control myself. I’vehadto. Even then, there’ve been so many times, with you, that I’ve almost…”
My pulse becomes a heavy thump. “Chased me?”
