Red spots crowd my vision. “To… To…” I sputter, my words tied in knots.
“Maybe don’t talk to him right now,” the Shadow suggests. “Just close the connection and let me carry you. I’ll infuriate you only half as much as he will.”
“Carry her?” Amriel’s mouth pulls into a scowl. “You don’t need to carry her. Just put her down. Let her walk on her own.”
The Shadow’s chest vibrates, his laugh so deep it reaches me as more of a feeling than a sound. He finds the dagger Amriel discarded, then gathers me close, hoisting me so I’m sitting in the crook of his elbow, my arms draped around his neck. He bears me up like it costs him nothing, and for all that my heart pumps raw fury right now instead of blood, I let him. I don’t even try to resist.
“You left,” the Shadow rumbles. “I stayed. This is my reward.”
Amriel glowers. “Well, you don’t have to gloat. I can feel her, too, you know. Wrapped around me.”
Another laugh rolls from the Shadow as he starts across the clearing. “Not like I can.”
Amriel opens his mouth. Snicks it shut again. I burrow into the Shadow, tucking my face into his shoulder, until Amriel can only see my eyes. “Jealous?” I say.
Which clearly irks him, because his brows flatten. “No.” Then, after a beat, “All right, yes. I’m jealous of…myself. Somehow. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yes,” I say. “Goodbye, now.”
“No,” Amriel spits. “You can’t shut me out after I just?—”
“I can, actually. I can do whatever I want. Especially when I’m this mad at you. And I’m so mad. Mad enough that you’re going to wish you’d exploded. Because the next time I see you, I’m going to kill you myself.”
He pauses. Mulls that over. “But therewillbe a next time?”
I glare. “No. Or…maybe. I don’t know. Just go see my sister Carina, in Aethrolia, all right? She has healing magic. She can fix your shoulder.”
He snorts. “I’m not going to Aethrolia. Especially not for ascratch.”
My jaw grinds. It’s so much more than a scratch, but I’ve reached the end of my patience with him, and flip the orb before he can say any more, cutting the connection. The hourglass replaces Amriel’s face, and I study it for the first time since the gravity room.
My stomach sinks. Just over half my time remains.
“Damn,” I mutter.
The Shadow grunts. “What is it?”
“I’ve used up so many hours and hardly gotten anywhere. How far can we go tonight? Can we get all the way to the end?”
“I can take you halfway, maybe,” he says. “From here.”
Ugh. It’s not enough, but it’s better than nothing. He cradles me closer, his arm like banded steel beneath me, and I lay my head on his shoulder, staring at the side of his neck. At the interplay of indigo and purple, glowing amid the evening’s shadows.
A cool breeze brushes against my arms and filters through my braids. Darkness deepens around us, the stars brightening overhead.
Little by little, my body relaxes, and I sigh contentedly. I have my own star right here, shining through the dusk. One that makes me feel safer than I have in…well, probably ever.
“Do you want me to put you down?” he rumbles.
I consider. I probably should. That would be the sanest response. But I’ve exhausted my entire repertoire of emotions today, cycled through highs and lows I didn’t even know existed. And I’m tired.
And right now, I don’t want to be strong.
“No,” I say. “I just want you to hold me.”
He flicks a glance at me, his face so close that I catch the longing in his eyes, a mirror of the same ache that thrums through the bond, pulling at me, tugging me closer, pleading with me.
I don’t fight it. I’m too exhausted for that. I just stare into him, acknowledging his want, letting him feel what a mess I am inside. Letting him see how much I need him, too.
