He sinks his face into a hand, prodding at his eyebrows before peeking up at me again. “I don’t know how to do this, all right? I wish I did, but I don’t. Not like he does.”
My lips part, a tender ache swelling in my throat.
“But you should know, Sariah…if you call for me, I’ll come. Iwill.”
My chest caves in. Oh, goddess. I can’t imagine how much it must have cost him to say that. “Thank you. But you can’t. If you come in here, if you use your gyre, you’ll die. And then I’ll… I won’t… I can’t…”
He waits, but now it’s my turn to flounder. I don’t know what to say, or what to feel, or how to make sense of the many forces suddenly clashing inside me. Just…good goddess, why does this hurt?How?
“Don’t,” I finish weakly. “Please don’t risk yourself. All right?”
He sinks back, looking almost disappointed. “Do you want to keep the connection open? For wherever you go next?”
“No,” I say immediately. “It’s better not to.”
The spark in his eyes abruptly sputters out. “Oh. Okay. All right.” There’s a distance in his face now, in his voice. In the cool looks we trade with one another through our spheres.
“Thank you, Amriel,” I say. “And goodbye.”
He opens his mouth to respond, but I can’t bear to hear it, so I just flip the orb and end up staring at the hourglass instead, not really seeing it. Sunlight bathes the back of my neck while tall grass sways against my legs, but the sensations reach me as if from far away.
Goddess, what iswrongwith me? So many things, clearly. More than I’ve ever even realized.
I raise my gaze. In the distance, the fae castle juts into the sky, andmy eyes find the solarium as if drawn. I think of him, up there right now. Of him pinning me to the door last night with his body, his mouth.
I used to wish for you.
Ishanna help me, but for one terrible, crystalline moment, I actually imagine staying. Using my gyre to return to the castle. Quitting this maze and just letting Velindra change me. Becoming someone who could live in this wild, beautiful, impossible place. Someone who could love the fae king and his Shadow like they deserve. Likehedeserves.
Only…I can’t actually see her, that version of me. I reach for her and find only smoke.
Closing my eyes, I will my heart rate to steady, then focus on the tree-door before me. This one is tall and oval, with a metallic green finish and a silver knob directly in the center. I grab hold and push the door inward.
Some kind of bog awaits on the other side, full of dark grass and bubbling marshes. I consider. Wherever I go next, the Shadow will hunt me, and I don’t want to wade through mud when he finds me.
But…
I step through the door, careful not to let it close, my hand still firmly on the knob. I stomp around at the entrance. Shake my braids. Do everything I can to leave my scent in this place, to give the Shadow a false trail to follow.
Then I back out, shut the door, and open it again, this time onto a cherry orchard.
I do that a dozen more times. I scatter my scent in a rocky meadow, in the nightmare forest, in some place choked with brambles and ominous dead trees. In a clearing ringed bytentemple-like buildings, their stone faces staring down as if daring me to find out what’s inside. Then I hurry away from that place as quickly as possible, becauseabsolutely not.
Once I’ve polluted as much of the labyrinth with my scent as I can, I back away one last time.
Let the Shadow make sense ofthat. Let him try to find me now.
When I swing the door open again, a burbling stream awaits. Tufts of lush grass sigh beside the water while dappled oaks shift overhead.
The scene looks completely normal. But is no doubt completely nightmarish in some new and exciting way.
Yet no place won’t be, so I step inside and let the door creak shut, not bothering to watch it disappear.
Which turns out to be a mistake, because the grass behind me swishes, pushed aside by something sizeable.
“There it is,” a voice says at my back. “I knew we’d find our pretty again.”
Panic erupts as something strikes me from behind. Stars explode inside my skull, just before everything…
