His eyes dropped for a moment and he shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, holding it out to me.
I’m sorry?I gulped, and my hand shook as I took it. I held his gaze, afraid to look down at the words. “What?” I whispered.
“Read the letter.”
I took a deep breath and found the elegant writing.
I regret to inform you that we have received word from Chieftain Eric of Neverglade that there have been two deaths in Aesira Havarsdotter’s immediate family. Her mother Seriah died from childbed fever shortly after the birth of the child. The baby boy also passed from a fever days later.
You have my condolences,
Commander Ace
I read it three times before tears welled up and dripped onto the page. This couldn’t be. I did the calculations in my head. It would have happened before the first snow, based on how far along the pregnancy was when I left and I was just now being told? Correspondence between Lothleton and Nighthaven wasn’t quick—but months?
I didn’t believe it. I crumpled the note, let it fall to the floor. I clutched at my chest and started pacing. No. It had to be a mistake. I shoved my hands into my hair. My heart squeezed and ached;died from childbed fever. My throat felt like it was closing. I’d heard of this sickness before, but she was healthy and strong. As strong as any woman I’d ever known.
“Aesira.” Vander’s voice was reverent. It was the first time he’d used my real name in months and caused me to pause. He took a step toward me, and I backed off. I needed to see Commander Ace. I needed proof this was true. I turned on my heel, and in a few strides, I was out the door.
“Aesira, wait,” Vander called. I ran through the halls of Drakthar. The torches and carvings in the stone blurring as I passed. Vander was right behind me. “Bonecarver, talk to me.”
I went faster. Someone stepped around a corner, and I slammed into the man, knocking him into the wall.
“Watch it!” he yelled. “Where’s your manners?”
“Leave her be,” Vander snapped back.
I ran up a set of stairs, down a long corridor with portraits of past leadership lining the walls. I shoved through Commander Ace’s door without knocking. Her quill stopped and she looked up from her desk. That severe look she always wore didn’t falter. There was no surprise in her expression, just stone.
“Who told you that my mother died? And the baby?” I could barely control my breathing. I needed to see Eric’s writing to believe it. I couldn’t have spent the last couple months playing assassin while my mother was dead and buried in the coldground. I would have known somehow, wouldn’t I? I would have felt it, dreamed it...something.
Taking hold of a letter from her desktop, she stood and held it out. I jerked it from her grasp and read the words of my mother and the baby’s passing yet again, signed by Chieftain Eric. I recognized his signature. I’d seen it many times while over at Kace’s home.
A heavy stone dropped in my gut.
“I’m very sorry, Bonecarver.” Commander Ace’s tone was formal and without feeling. She delivered news of deaths all the time to families and had no doubt grown numb to it.
In a daze, I left her study and pressed my back against the wall outside her door. I couldn’t lose my composure in front of the Commander.
It didn’t feel real. I didn’t want to believe my mother was gone and the sweet little baby brother that didn’t even have a chance at life.
“I’ll remind you, Viper, that she is not allowed to go home until after her training is complete.” The Commander’s voice drifted out through the crack in her chamber door.
“Her mother and baby brotherdied, Commander,” Vander said, defensively.
“I understand that. And I feel for her just as I do with anyone who loses family, but you know the rules. No one gets to go home during their apprenticeship. Especially with the second apprentice game days away. If you want your chance at Dravyn Knox, she needs to do well.”
“Commander?” he questioned.
Silent tears slid down my cheeks, and I pressed myself harder against the wall. I balled my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms. A scream waited at the back of my throat.
“He will be our next mission. The winning team will get to participate in his assassination. And if you want to be a part of it, she must be ready to go with you.”
“You’re certain he’s back?”
“He’s back,” she confirmed.
I didn’t know who they were talking about and I didn’t care. I walked away through the halls feeling like I was underwater. Everything around me sounded muffled. My vision tunneled only to what was directly ahead of me. By the time I got to my room, I couldn’t remember walking from the Commander’s.
