35
He bites his lip and stares at the floor without a word. I see him now; those bright baby blues, the smattering of freckles on his nose, faded now, and that sweet shy smile that could only belong to little Abe. There had always been something familiar about him, something which brought me home.Why? How?I’m too shocked to even ask those questions.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I just stare at him, awestruck. I feel so stupid. I wonder if I’m still dreaming, a dream within a dream.
He drops to his knees. “I can explain.”
I don’t say a word, still too shocked to speak.
“I’ve been keeping track of you for years,” he confesses. “I missed you.”
I missed you too, little Abe.
“You left so suddenly… I missed you. I was only nine when you left. No one knew where you went. I asked my mom for an address so I could write to you. She didn’t have one.”
I’m sorry.
“I never forgot you.”
I never forgot you either.
He takes my hand. “I grew up, went away to school, but never forgot you. Years later, I searched you up on Facebook, and there you were.” He smiled up at me. “I’ve stalked you ever since.”
I swallow hard. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I know everyone does it. I know I sure did after Daniel and I were divorced. I was obsessed with his new woman.
“Why are you here?” I finally manage.
“You don’t post much at all on social media. I wanted to see that you’re okay… with my own eyes.”
“Wait…” I say, thinking back. “Your birthday’s not November 10th, it’s August 15th.”
He shrugs. “I lied… I didn’t want you to clue in.”
“And you’re not twenty-eight, you’re twenty-seven!”
He nods and stares at the floor.
Just great.
“Why?” I ask, still puzzled. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me who you were?”
“Because you should hate me, Abby.”
I shake my head in confusion. “Why would I hate you?”
He pulls his gaze from mine. “Because I completely fucked up your life… and mine.”
My stomach is aflutter. I don’t know what he’s telling me. “What do you mean, Noah… Abe?”
He stares at the floor, at the mess I’ve made of his office supplies. “You don’t want to know.”
My whole core is on fire. “I want to know, Abe. Tell me everything.”
His beautiful face is strained as he rubs the back of his neck. His gaze darts about the space but never lands on me. I desperately want to reach out and tear the words from his throat. “Tell me,” I plead. “I deserve to know.”
He rubs at his flushed face, and a soft growl escapes his mouth. “Fuck.”
