Raging passion tinted with a touch of violence consumes us both, teeth biting and tongues battling as we attempt to devour one another. My heart pulses, my arms snapping around his neck to keep him from escaping.
One of my hands tangles in his hair, twisting around the longer strands and wrenching him harder against me. Lucas moans hotly, my sex pulsing and body trembling with a mind-numbing wave of desperation. My leg wraps around him like I’m about to scale him like a tree. His callused hand grips it and I gasp against his mouth. He lifts me, both of his hands clutching my legs, before my ass lands on Nora’s table. I moan, ankles hooking around his legs to draw him in even tighter.
My body has forgotten that I was thoroughly fucked a moment earlier. Desire thrums in my veins, my thighs sliding higher up Lucas’ hips as I lean back, my arms around his neck, pulling him with me.
But instead of falling on me and fucking me until the table snaps, Lucas wrenches away from my mouth and glares down at me with an intensity that steals my breath. “Fucking hell, Torment!”
My cheeks burn. “Wha?—”
“I love you!”
Heat flushes my body, my eyes wide and their green glow reflecting on Lucas. “You love me?”
“Yes! I fuckingloveyou, you crazy, wild creature.” My smile lights across my face, my fingers trailing disbelievingly down his neck, as he thunders on, “I’ve loved you for years and years, and never did anything because I thought you didn’t want me.”
My lips part and I try to draw him back in for another kiss, but he doesn’t move. His eyes glisten and his voice rasps, “Ithought being close to you was enough. I thought being as close as two souls could be without sex was enough. I thought I could live like that as long as I was with you. But I can’t.” Tears slide down his face. “I’m drowning, Torment.”
My heart drops and I search his wrecked expression. “Lucas?—”
He shakes his head. “No. You have to let me finish.” His fingers tremble against my hips. “I feel like a crazy person. One second, I’m so sure you feel the same, and the next I’m doubting everything.” His gaze dips down to my arm and his hand runs along it, careful of the barely healed slices from the night before. The look of devastation is a knife deep in my heart. “I thought you and I were inevitable.” His eyes squeeze shut before snapping back open. “Why do you always have to make memakeyou? Why can’t you just love me, too? Why are we here because you fucked him and I’m feeling ruined?”
The pounding excitement in my heart gives way to a clenching dread. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I can’t keep doing this.” His breath shudders and tears make his words quieter. “He’s not going to share you, Tor.”
I shake my head. “What? No.”
“He might permit me access to you, but I don’t think he’llevershare your heart. I’ve only known him a few days and even I can see that.” His hold weakens and I clutch him harder. “I can’t stay here and be an occasional guest star in your relationship with him.”
But I don’t believe that. I know it doesn’t have to be an either/or situation. It could be something more; the three of us could be more. And yet, something rings true in his words.
I don’t know what Valen wants. I could be imprinting my hopes on his fleeting looks. He might find Lucas attractive, but that doesn’t mean he’s okay with Lucas being more than an occasional thrill.
Fear jolts me, my eyes too wide. Did I ruin everything? No. I can fix this. I can tell Lucas it’s just sex, but that’s a lie. It was never going to be just sex with Valen.
His name on my lips is a desperate plea. “Lucas.”
His eyes search mine and it’s too much like a goodbye for me to stand. I nearly dissolve into hysterics at the sight. His whisper rasps, “I can’t go back to being only friends. It’s killing me. It has been for a long time, but it was easier back before I knew there was a chance.”
He’s pulling back but I claw at him, my ankles hooking behind his hips to lock him in. He sighs, eyes closing. “I love you, Torment, but I can’t do this.” His forehead rests against mine. “It hurts too much.”
I trail trembling fingertips down his face, but he won’t look at me. Desperation grips me and I try to force his head up. “Look at me.Look at me.” I grab his jaw with a bruising force and yank it up. His face is heavy with desolation and a new wave of tears slides down my face. “Don’t leave me.”
His breath shivers. “I don’t want to.”
My heart cracks. Sickness clenches my gut. I grip either side of his neck tightly. “Then don’t.”
“Give me a reason to stay.” He searches me, hope flashing in his eyes. His breath ghosts over my lips. “You know what I need. Come on, Tor. Tell me why.”
My lips tremble. Fear tries to rob me of the words, but if I don’t tell him, then it’ll all be over. And that thought is worse than anything else. “Because… because…” my breath shivers. He’s so close. I could kiss him, evading his question, but it won’t solve this. Not this time. He’s too hurt and I cannot bear it. He needs to know how I feel before I lose him forever.
A low, menacing drawl from the kitchen entrance sends an agonizing jolt through my heart. “Well. Isn’t this cozy.”
We snap around to behold Valen leaning against the entryway to the kitchen. He has only his trousers on and his hands in his pockets. “My cum is dripping down your thighs and I find you in the arms of another. How romantic.”
Terror grips me. My gaze darts back and forth between the two and the realization that I’m about to lose them both gives me the adrenaline to speak. “Stop. Just stop. Both of you. And listen.” I point viciously to Valen. “Don’t youfuckingmove. We need to talk. And you.” I grip Lucas’ face with a near-crushing force. “You listen. It’s my turn now.”
My eyes burn and my throat tightens to near choking. I’m shaking so hard that my words waver with it. “I can’t lose you. I can’t. Lucas.” Tears wash down my face in burning trails. “You and me. Remember that.”
