‘I think he has a touch of colic,’ Zoe said. ‘Hopefully it’ll settle in a few weeks.’
‘All these babies.’ Geoff sipped at his coffee and looked wistfully at Louisa. ‘Did we ever tell you we thought about adopting for a while. In the end, we decided against it.’
Zoe imagined a baby wouldn’t exactly fit in with the mini luxuries and impromptu parties Geoff and Magnus were so fond of, and would most certainly mess up their immaculate house. They were a lovely couple, but she couldn’t imagine them with a child – not because they couldn’t love one; they clearly had a lot of love to give – but because neither of them would be capable of living with the chaos.
‘Do you think it might be you next?’
Zoe blinked at Magnus. ‘Me?’
His smile slipped. ‘I only thought…because of your age and…’
Geoff rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t listen to him, Zoe. What he means to say is, we know you’re fond of babies, and now that you and Alex are settling together up at Hilltop, people will naturally wonder whether it might be your turn soon. But it’s none of our business, and you’re quite right to keep mum…if you’ll excuse the pun.’
‘It’s all right,’ Zoe said, though the question had rattled her. ‘I don’t think it’s the right time at the moment. There’s a lot to be done with the business, and I’ve got my job and other mums to look after, and with Louisa still so little…’
‘Imagine Dad with two babies in the house!’ Billie said.
‘He’d run himself ragged,’ Zoe agreed.
‘Anyway…’ Magnus cleared his throat and turned his attention to ringing up the groceries on the counter.
A few minutes later, Zoe and Billie were on the pavement outside the shop, Billie adjusting the papoose to make Louisa more comfortable.
‘She’ll be asleep in a minute,’ she said. ‘I can tell by the way she’s sucking on her dummy.’
‘I love how quickly you’ve tuned in to all her little signals.’ Zoe smiled as, sure enough, Louisa’s eyes started to grow heavy. ‘You’re a natural.’
Billie gave a self-conscious smile. ‘You think so? I don’t feel like it. Most of the time, I’m scared to death I’m doing everything wrong. When do you stop feeling like that?’
‘I can’t really say as I’ve never been in that position myself. Perhaps most of my mums feel the same, but they don’t say so. I’m sure it’s more common than you realise to be worried whether you’re doing the best for your baby…And to be fair, even the received wisdom changes with each generation, so who knows really whether we’re doing anything right? It wasn’t so long ago you could wean them at two or three months old…I’d be strung up for suggesting that now!’
‘Do you think it’s right? I mean, when you’re told all the things you used to do you can’t do anymore? Do you sometimes wonder if it’s silly and it was right the way you did it before? I bet you do.’
‘It doesn’t matter what I think. Smarter people than me are always looking at these things and finding out more than they knew before, and who am I to tell them they’re wrong?’
‘You can’t really believe that?’ Billie said as they began to walk. ‘You must have an opinion one way or another.’
‘I suppose so, but I have to trust in the new research, don’t I? It’s my job to keep everyone in my care safe, and if the research says they’ll be safer doing things a new way, then I have to listen to it. Besides, there are rules about these things.’
‘When you say stuff like that,’ Billie began with a wry smile, ‘you don’t sound like yourself.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘At home you’re cheeky – you enjoy a laugh. But when you’re a midwife, you’re all serious, and it’s just not who I think you really are.’
‘People can be more than one thing, can’t they? I can be daft at home but serious at work – it’s two different sides to the same person, that’s all. We’ve all got that going on, haven’t we?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘To me, you seem a lot different around your dad at home than you are when you’re out with people you don’t know so well.’
‘That’s different.’
‘How?’
‘Well…I don’t know them, so I don’t know how to act around them.’
‘You could be yourself. Everyone would love that regardless.’
