“I think he hates himself a little for pushing you to the breaking point.”
“I didn’t break.” At Ryder’s knowing look, Spencer’s gaze darted to the side. “Or maybe a little.” He bit at his lower lip. “Maybe I needed a little breaking.”
“Youareacting surprisingly un-cagey. I thought we might have to pin you down and make you listen.”
Spencer gave an exaggerated shiver. “Don’t say stuff like that with the cameras here. Damn.” He casually adjusted his dick and pushed at Ryder’s chest. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Ryder did his own adjusting before he led Spencer back inside and pushed him toward the office, watching him closely until Spencer had shut the door behind him.
Damon sidled up a moment later. “My office better not smell like sex when I walk in there later.”
Ryder flipped him off. “They’re just talking. Working through their hang-ups.”
“And what—you don’t have any hang-ups to work through?”
“Not really.”
Damon scoffed. “Why is that? You grew up fucking poor and miserable like the rest of us, didn’t you?”
It was true enough, at least at the start of things. Ryder shrugged. “I also found my person young, and he never, ever left. And now I get another, and I wasn’t even looking for it. So I think I’m pretty fucking lucky all around.” Ryder turned on his heel and went back to the car he’d been working on. “They can take their time to figure it out,” he said to himself, not caring if Damon could hear him. “I have everything I need.”
23
SPENCER
Spencer shut the door behind him as Ash bolted up from a wheeled office chair.
If Spencer had been a little less on edge, he might have laughed at the panic on Ash’s face, which was at about the same level Spencer might expect if he was Ash’s scheduled executioner come to take him away.
“Hey, spitfire.”
It was only after the words were out of his mouth that Spencer realized how much itwasn’ta laughing matter. Ash looked … rough. His messy curls were more at odds with one another than ever, and he was bleary-eyed in a way that suggested he was either majorly hungover or hadn’t slept at all the night before. On top of that, his new, steady pheromones were more bitter than they should have been.
And then there was the fact that Ash—always moving, never-still-for-a-moment Ash—was standing completely frozen, staring at Spencer like he’d disappear if Ash so much as blinked.
Spencer held his arms out. “Do you need a hug? I got one from Ryder. It helped a lot.”
Ash didn’t move toward him. “I’m sorry,” he blurted instead, a wild, manic tinge to his voice. “I’m sorry I let things get so bad with Noah. I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry. He shouldn’t have talked to you that way. I should have gone after you.”
Spencer didn’t argue the fact that Ash running after him would only have made things worse with Noah. It didn’t seem like Ash was in the best place to listen to reasoning like that. Spencer lowered his arms to his sides instead. “I went to see my mom.”
Ash blinked at him. “You did?”
“Uh-huh. And Noah and I are good now.” Spencer kept his voice low and calm, like he was speaking to a spooked alley cat. “He says you two talked it out. Says you defended me.”
“Because it was my fault,” Ash said thickly. “All of it.”
It was surprisingly painful seeing Ash look so dejected on Spencer’s behalf. Spencer may have had his frustrations with their arrangement, but that didn’t change the fact that Ash was meant to be all fire and spark, not dimly lit and doused with regret like this.
Spencer ran a hand through his hair. “It wasn’t all your fault. I went along.”
“I steamrolled you,” Ash protested, his hands clenching at his sides. “I knew you wouldn’t say no.”
Spencer laughed. “Dude. You know how often I tell people no? I’m hot, and I’m halfway decent, and I give great head. I say no all the time. Maybe I don’t get angry enough when people act shitty about it, but I say it.”
Ash didn’t seem to know what to say to that at first. His hands unclenched, and a hopeful light entered his amber eyes. “And you didn’t want to say it with me? With … us?”
Spencer shook his head.
