“So why are you?”
“It’s probably easier to take you back to the start.”
I nod and she continues. “When I was seventeen, Harold pulled me into a meeting. He offered me a lot of things to pursue a relationship with Monty. He wanted a Knox and Kessler blood child. I told him that I wasn’t in love with Monty, and he knew that I was in love with your father. He was new here in the UKand we bonded right away. After a few months we started to drift apart and when he told me he couldn’t be with me, I was heartbroken. He did tell me that he was mixed up in something which meant that he couldn’t be with someone from my family. Apparently it would complicate things too much, and he was here only for them. I knew of The Order thanks to my father and my uncle, so your great uncle Dirk.”
I didn’t even put the dots together that he was my great uncle.
“They were involved. I saw the tattoos and did my research, but being a girl I wasn’t allowed to be included. Harold became persistent after a few years had passed. He turned to blackmail eventually because hereallywanted that child. I didn’t think that he was serious until my father was killed. Harold never came out and said that he did it of course, but I know that he did.”
I nod. That’s exactly the sort of thing Harold would do to try and get his own way.
“By this stage, Monty had told his father that he was in love with Maggie, which also wasn’t allowed, but Harold turned a blind eye. He was getting what he finally wanted, so he left me alone. I wasn’t happy though. I became obsessed with trying to prove that Harold had killed my father. I met a man within The Order – I wouldn’t say that I was in love with him because that had always been your father.”
It saddens me that she loved my dad like that, and he walked away without trying to fight for what they had.
“By then he had met Laura and gone back to Australia. She was pregnant and they were starting a family, so I threw myself into this new relationship, using it to weed out any information I could on the organisation. Harold caught wind that I was snooping, and when the guy I was seeing disappeared, I found out I was pregnant and decided to lay low. He found me whenBex was a few months old, told me he knew what I was doing, and that he would kill her if I didn’t stop putting my nose where it didn’t belong. I stopped digging and moved immediately. I wanted to start a new life and when she was almost eleven months old, he took her, Amelie.”
My eyes widen in shock. Who would do that? Why?
“He still wanted me and Monty together, to double his chances of an heir. Maggie didn’t want kids so young. He told me that he would sell Bex, so I did what any mother would do. I told Harold I would do it, I would have a child with Monty. I did some things I’m not proud of after that. I killed someone within The Order and I managed to get Bex back. I got straight on a plane with a fake identity and went to find your father. I knew that if anyone could keep my daughter safe, it would be him. But Camilla intercepted me.”
“Why did you go back and see my father?”
“Closure. I planned to vanish underground. I found a team of mercenaries that I could work with. I had to wait around for the adoption to be finalised first, which is when I found out I was pregnant with you. Camilla wanted me to adopt you with Bex, so you could grow up with your sibling, but I felt that wasn’t fair on your father. He’s a good man and deserved to know he would have a child out in the world somewhere. He wanted you of course, and promised he would tell no one that I was your mother, somehow persuading Laura to get on board. Now you know why.”
“It still doesn’t explain why you didn’t just vanish after my birth.”
“Giving up your children is not something that is easy to do. It killed me every single day. I had tabs on Harold, and when I found out that Monty and Maggie had a son, I thought he would stop. He’d got what he wanted. A baby between two founding families, even though it went against Order laws.”
“Kalen isn’t double blood.”
“Harold didn’t know that until after Kalen was born. Maggie's parents hid her parentage lines well. She was a girl so they didn’t see why anyone needed to know that she was adopted. Harold had started making plans for Monty to take over and for him and Maggie to be married. It would be the perfect scenario until his Grandchild could be groomed to take over with absolute control. The wedding went ahead, but someone told Harold about Maggie shortly afterwards. So again, he was looking for me. I don’t know why he didn’t just look for another girl within a founding family. Maybe because he had already threatened me and killed my family and taken everything I had cared about. He probably thought I’d be the easiest option. Maybe there weren’t that many girls within founding families. Maybe he was wiping them out to ensure he was the only founder breaking the rules and to prevent one of the other families from doing the same. I don’t know, I don’t think we’ll ever know. But wedoknow for certain that he’s a dangerous and deranged man. I can’t even fathom how his brain works.”
She shakes her head, lost in memories of the past and so I sip my coffee and wait.
“He sent an execution team. I’d been waiting for it. I knew what I did – by killing someone within The Order – would bring them after me, but he left me alone while he worked on the Knox name taking over.”
“How did you escape them?”
“Those mercenaries I told you about. I grew up with them, trained with them. I defended myself. Camilla quickly put a stop to it; no one could get into Australia. I had to go underground, and my friends helped me find a place I could work. An organisation in Australia called Olympia. I worked with them, creating medical advancements that would blow your mind.”
“That all sounds messed up, but honestly why now?”
“One of my friends, the one who helped hide me all these years ago, reached out. They told me that The Order had gotten hold of you, that you were taking over. I freaked out and went straight to Camilla and she filled me in. She said she was working with one of your friends and that you were safe, but I had to see it for myself.”
She sips her own coffee, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
“I know too much time has passed, and both you and Bex have your own lives. I’ve come to terms with that. But I need you to know I did what I thought was best. I just want to be home, to stop hiding, and if you girls will let me, I would like to get to know you both.”
I contemplate everything that she’s just told me. I want to hate her, but I probably would have done some things the same if I was in her position. I want The Order to start afresh. Her killing people within the organisation isn’t actually against our laws, it’s against the country’s laws. We sit in silence while I think.
“Killing people within The Order isn’t something an extraction team should have been sent for. You weren’t sworn in, so you’re safe there. I’ll make sure that it gets sorted out. Harold is still out there, and I don’t have the resources to protect you.”
“I’m not asking for any of your resources. I’m asking for your blessing to be here. I have people watching my back, so I’m safe. I don’t want to put you or your sister in unnecessary danger.”
“I would say we have both involved ourselves in danger now anyway, so that isn’t an issue.”
We both smirk, and I’m thrown by the way her lip pulls back in the corner. Mine does the exact same.
