I've never felt more perfect in my life.
"This is insane," I murmur against his chest.
"Yeah."
"We're supposed to be fake dating."
"I know."
"This doesn't feel very fake."
His arms tighten around me. "No. It doesn't."
I pull back enough to look at him. "What are we doing, Nash?"
He's quiet for a long moment, his hand coming up to cup my face, his thumb brushing away the tear tracks on my cheeks.
"I don't know," he admits. "But I don't want to stop."
"Me neither."
"Your parents—"
"Can deal with it." I lean into his touch. "Whatever this is, whatever we're doing, I want to keep doing it."
"Even if it's real?"
"Especially if it's real."
Chapter 8 - Nash
*Especially if it's real.*
I'm holding her in my lap, her dress bunched around her waist, my fingers still wet from being inside her, and I can't believe this is happening.
Can't believe she wants this to be real.
Wants me to be real.
I've spent three months telling myself she was untouchable. That wanting her was a fantasy I'd never act on. That the best I could hope for was being her silent guardian, the neighbor who watched over her from a distance.
And now she's in my arms, looking at me like I'm something precious, telling me she wants this to be real.
I should be happy. I am happy. But there's a knot in my stomach that won't go away because she doesn't know. She doesn't know what she's signing up for.
"Claire," I start. "There are things you need to know about me."
She tilts her head, studying my face. "Okay."
"Things that might change your mind about this."
"I don't think—"
"Let me finish." I take a breath. "I want you. More than I've wanted anything in a long time. But I'm not… I'm not an easy person to be with."
She's quiet, waiting. The words are harder to find than they should be. I've never talked about this with anyone. Never had reason to.
"I saw things," I say finally. "In the job. Bad things. Buildings collapsing. People who didn't make it out. My captain died three feet from me and I couldn't—"
