Trevor lets out a defeated sigh. “Fine. Then I’m going to stop reading.”
“Don’t do that.” Skyler leans his head back so that he’s peering up at Trevor as he purposefully juts out his lower lip. “I’ll be good, I promise.”
He’s only joking around, but Trevor’s breath hitches noticeably, and by the time he resumes reading, there’s a sexual tension in the room that’s hard to ignore.
Fuck, he used tolovebeing good for Trevor.
A minute ago, Skyler was comfortable, relaxing with his head in Trevor’s lap. But now he can’t help but want something more. He wants to roll himself over and squeeze Trevor’s strong thighs, feel the muscles give under his hands.Wants to bury his nose in the fabric of Trevor’s shirt against his abs and breathe him in. Wants to kiss his way up Trevor’s chest.
He wants, he wants, he wants.
Trevor’s fingers left Skyler’s hair at some point, but now they’re back, and the way they close tightly around his strands, tugging slightly, lets Skyler know he's not the only one battling these desires.
To test things out, he adjusts his head in Trevor’s lap, pushing it gently but deliberately into his crotch. Trevor’s voice falters as he reads, and after a few moments, he stops altogether.
“Sky.”
It’s one tiny syllable, but it says so damn much.
He sits up properly and turns himself toward Trevor. Trevor sets the book on the end table. Trevor’s looking at him, waiting, but Skyler still needs it to be Trevor to lean in. Which he doesn’t do. He doesn’t make a move, but he doesn’t look away either.
And it’s so frustrating.
Skyler can tell Trevor wants this as badly as he does. So what’s holding him back?
“Tell me what you’re afraid of,” he whispers, as if Trevor is a deer who will spook at any loud noises.
“Who says I’m afraid?”
“If you weren’t, then I’m pretty sure you would have kissed me by now.”
Trevor shakes his head. “Why do I have to be the one to keep making the first moves?”
He runs one finger down the seam of Trevor’s jeans, along his outer thigh. It’s not meant to be sexual. In another context, it could be, but right now, he only wants Trevor to feel secure enough to let him inside his head. He needs to know what’s going on in there, because it’s not so easy to tell anymore.
“Because you’re the one who still seems unsure of everything,” he answers.
“Andyou’resure?” Trevor asks.
“I’m sure I want to be with you, yes.”
Trevor’s breath hitches. “Oh.”
Skyler studies his face, searching for clues. Trevor’s eyes flit around uneasily, refusing to meet his, and Skyler’s heart has never felt so fragile. “And you’re… not sure you want to be with me.”
“No.”
His heart shatters and the shards fly everywhere, cutting his throat. He forces himself to speak around them. “Right. Okay then. If you don’t want it, then I’ll stop pushing. I’m sorry.”
“Wait, no!” Trevor grabs his hand and squeezes it in a death grip, panic written all over his face now. “No, I didn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you.”
“Then what do you mean?”
Trevor loosens his grip but doesn’t let go. “I don’t know if Icanbe with you. If I’d…”
He doesn’t finish his thought and Skyler’s heart can’t take this. “Babe.” He runs his thumb across Trevor’s knuckles. He wants to beg him to explain what he’s feeling, but he’s afraid to push too hard. Pushing Trevor too hard was what messed everything up the first time.
Trevor’s eyes well up with tears now, and Skyler fights the urge to wrap him in his arms and tell him it’s okay. Tell Trevor that even if he doesn’t want to be with him like that, Skyler will still be here for him.
