“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He pats my leg. “We know you now. None of us are gonna send you into the lion’s den on your own. We’re a fucked-up group of people, but once you’re one of ours, we’ve got your back. You can count on that.”
“You’re not fucked up.”
“I’ve got my own shit to deal with. Everyone does.”
“I guess so.” We sit quietly for a moment until another question bubbles up. “How do you deal with what Specter does? Are you okay with it?”
Colson gazes ahead as a soft smile tugs at his lips. “It never really bothered me. I mean, at first, I thought ‘oh great, I found myself a violent criminal’ but I quickly learned that’s not what he is. Our life in the mansion is very domestic and even sweet sometimes. He’s got two loyalties: his brothers and me. That’s it. I’ve never been loved like this, and it’s incredible. As far as what he does for work, I don’t really think about it that deeply. Especially since they updated their procedures to be morefocused on the worst of the worst. They’re doing the world a service, in my opinion.”
“Is that what Carnage meant when he said they revamped their processes?”
“Yeah. Some shit went down last year that made Shadow rethink how he took on clients. Since that change, the guys are energized again. Who’s gonna miss a few criminals, pedophiles, and rapists?”
“That’s true.”
“Listen, Rue, I know as well as anyone that it’s unconventional, but the world is a weird place, and sometimes a dangerous one. Specter and the boys make it a little better in a way.”
I nod. “I mean, I do feel safe here, and it’s not like I’m dating Carnage. He’s just helping me.”
“Do you want to?”
“What? Date him?”
“Or whatever?”
I shake my head. “He wouldn’t be interested in me. I’m so unworldly and inexperienced. I haven’t even had sex with anyone yet.”
I expect to see shock on Colson’s pretty face, but he just smiles again. “And? Do you think that makes you undesirable?”
“Yes? For someone like Carnage.”
“Oh, so you know him well enough to know what he thinks is hot or not?”
“Well, no, but why would he be interested in me when he can have anyone?”
“Isn’t that the million-dollar question? You’re here, so something about you intrigued him. You didn’t force him at gunpoint to bring you here, did you?”
I laugh softly. “No, of course not.”
“Exactly. Carnage is a lot of things, some of them complicated, but he’s not a bleeding heart. He doesn’t do a damn thing he doesn’t want to do. Hewantedyou here.”
I nod, trying to believe I could be more than a charity case for Carnage. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Sure.”
“How did you become so… so you? Like, your style and how you carry yourself?”
“Experimentation. Trying new things, seeing what feels right. That’s all life really is. You find what you like by trying things.” He leans forward slightly. “Hey. Why don’t we go shopping? I’ll take you to some of my favorite places.”
“Oh, I don’t have any money.”
“We can just have fun and try stuff out. At least you can start percolating on what you might gravitate towards.”
“You’d do that?”
“I never need an excuse to go shopping.” He winks at me. “And I have plenty of makeup and hair products if you want to experiment.”
“Makeup? Oh, yeah. I like mascara and gloss, but I left it behind.”
