“I do still have to work too, you know,” Duke responds, his face concentrating on his eggs. He’s clearly not as comfortable as Cash with joking about sex in front of me, about me.
“I know, but listen, I’ll be gone for the night. Y’all can watch the show. Then, because I’m the sexiest man alive, you won’t be able to control yourselves.”
I throw a blueberry at him. “Yeah, okay.” I tell him, laughing.
“Can I come down to the bar, Duke? To watch the rodeo?”
“Why would you think you have to ask, Sunshine?” He looks at me with curiosity. “You don’t have to ask; you can come anytime you want.”
“That’s what she said,” is Cash’s snarky reply.
Duke and I swing our eyes in his direction, both wearing the same face of exasperation. He laughs back.
“Okay, I will then. I like it there.”
“Alright, Hurricane, I gotta run. I love you!” Pulling me from my seat, he wraps me in his arms and kisses me. Deep and consuming, It’s only seconds before my belly is alight and I crush myself against him, feeling him harden against my belly. Extricating himself, both of us breathing hard, he says, “Whew, sit back down. The first time we are back together, it can’t be me bending you over the table in front of Duke.” And with those parting words, he sweeps out of the room. I hear himputting his boots on before the front door opens and slams behind him.
Duke watches me silently as I take my seat, my cheeks surely pink.
“What do you want to do with your day before I head out later?” Duke asks me as we sit, the room suddenly silent and a little colder without Cash.
“It feels complete when we are all together,” I tell him, a little sadly.
Grabbing my hand, he says, “I know.”
Sitting on the porch in the afternoon sun, I decide to bite the bullet and ask Duke what has been on my mind since I spoke to Cash about our unusual situation.
“Hey Grumpy, can we talk?” I look over at him, relaxed in a rocking chair.
He looks momentarily concerned but replies, “Sure, Sunshine,” all the same.
“I was talking to Cash and?—”
“Don’t listen to anything he says,” he tells me with a laugh.
“I asked him about our...situation. About all our situations.” I trail off somewhat, unsure of how to continue.
He stops rocking and rises to join me on the porch swing.
“What exactly is your concern, Caroline? Let me help.” He’s stoic as always in that comfortable, present way. He wants me to feel better, to not worry, and I love that.
“Can this work? Between us?” I ask him.
“What do you mean? I’m sorry, Caroline, but I’m going to need you to spell it out for me. I want to answer the right question, not volunteer the wrong thing.”
“I can’t choose, Duke. I am in love with you. And I’m in love with Cash. You two are so opposite and everything feels so right.” Tears fill my eyes at my confession. I’m terrified of pushing either of them away, of hurtingthem. Duke is sensitive and has been hurt before and my fear of hurting him is the reason I’m in this to begin with.
Holding my face, he kisses the tears off both my cheeks before running his thumbs under my lashes. “Sunshine, I have never, in thirty-seven years, been happier than I am at this exact moment. I don’t pretend to know the answer to any of these questions or how we will figure this all out, but I can promise you, with certainty, you are it for me. If this falls apart, then I will move on, but there is no way I’m leaving until you tell me to. That’s exactly what I told Cash when you were in the hospital.” He hugs me to his chest before holding me at arm’s length to look into my face. “This was my idea, Sunshine. Making a go at it. I want this.”
My heart swells with joy at his words. I’ve never felt loved the way I do at this house, on Colter Ranch, in tiny Inspiration, Montana and I refuse to allow this peace to be taken, no matter the circumstances.
Getting ready to head to the bar later, I’m a little nervous. Duke and I spent the day just being together, hanging out, working through some of my concerns. Tonight, we will watch Cash ride, after we will come home, and that’s where the nerves come in. The only time Duke and I have ever been together was quick and rough on a table in a storeroom and it was one of the most mind-blowing orgasms of my life. What will happen tonight?
Duke, as usual, is just being his normal self, unsmiling, as he gets ready. He pulls his boots on and slides his hat on his head, his brown hair curling around his ears. He bends downand pulls his dogs into a hug before kissing the tops of their heads.
“Alright everyone, your job is to protect Sweet Caroline. Okay? She is the queen and needs her soldiers to keep her safe since Cash isn’t here.” They thump their tails on the floor in tandem. “Perfect.”
I cover my mouth with my hand to hold in the laugh that’s threatening to burst free, and he grins at me. His smiles are so rare, they feel like a special offering when I get a genuine one.
