He stood, torn between giving them both time to cool off while he got some sleep, and going after her. He glanced around with distaste at the bed he’d spent so many weeks in, blind, angry, and fearful. He shuddered at the idea of sleeping here any longer. The memories of lying there chilled him.
But dare he chase Ella? He’d be giving in to her. Before he and Euan went scouting, he’d told her he accepted her apology and forgave her. He’d meant it as absolution in case he didn’t come back, so that she didn’t carry the burden of what wentwrong between them for the rest of her life. Now that he was back, was his forgiveness still real?
Had he lied to her in the same way she lied to him? For good reason or out of kindness? Was what he’d done any better than what she’d tried to do for him?
No, it wasn’t.
So why wasn’t he halfway down the stairs by now, calling her name?
His damned pride. He couldn’t do it. Not now, not so publicly. And perhaps never, given the wall he just caused her to erect between them.
He collapsed back down onto the mattress and sank his head into his hands, tangling his fingers into his hair. He wasn’t just insufferably proud. Where Ella was concerned, he was a coward.
