Maybe I should have kissed him.
We need to talk first, though—he’s been sending me mixed signals ever since our last conversation, and while Ithinkhe regrets pushing me away, I can’t be totally sure about what he wants until he tells me.
Besides: Trey wasright there, which would have been weird.
But.
What if that was my last chance? What if something happens to him out there while he’s all alone on the trails tonight? Yeah, he’s a pro. Yeah, he knows these trails like the back of his hand.
That doesn’t mean he has a lot of experience hiking at night, or hiking all by himself. Won’t he be exhausted by the end of his journey there and back? What if he has to take an unplanned break to sleep for a while, but isn’t able to tell us for some reason, and then doesn’t make it back by sunrise and we all start freaking out wondering if he’s fallen into a bottomless pit?
Did he take enough food?
Did he take enough water?
Will he be warm enough?
These thoughts and more spiral in on themselves all evening. I can’t stop worrying—not about us, we’ll be fine.
Abouthim.
About things I couldn’t control even if I wanted to. About how I won’t feel settled until he comes back safely to us tomorrow.
All my worst instincts flare to life in his absence: my tendency to worry that things will go horribly wrong until proven otherwise; my active imagination, dreaming up a thousand scenarios in which Thorn ends up in distress; the way I can’t set my fears aside and justenjoythis otherwise-pleasant evening with the people who are still here.
“Sadie,” Hunter says.
It sounds like it isn’t the first time he’s said my name.
My eyes focus just in time to see my marshmallow turn into a blazing torch—but from the way Hunter’s looking at me, I don’t think that’s why he was trying to get my attention.
The wayeveryoneis looking at me, I realize.
“He’s going to be okay,” Hunter goes on. “He knows what he’s doing.”
“Who—Thorn?” I do my best to keep my voice light and casual, as if it hadn’t occurred to me that he mightnotbe okay.
I blow the fire out, examining my marshmallow.
“Ofcoursehe means Thorn,” Emma says. “You’re obviously worried.”
So much for trying to act chill.
“I’m more worried about Matteo sitting still, honestly,” Trey adds. “Imagine Thorn making it all the way there, only to find they got bored and went somewhere else…”
Parker swats him on the arm. “Nothelpful. Sadie’s already freaking out as it is!”
“I’m not freaking out!” I protest.
“Show of hands,” Trey says. “Who here thinks Sadie is freaking out?”
One by one, all the hands go up…except for Zoe’s.
She’s been in her own world, in her own head, ever since the waterfall. At the moment, she looks extra checked out.
“Zoe?” I say, and not only because I desperately want the spotlight off myself. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m— I just—” she starts. “Today was a lot. I think I’m still a little shaken up?”
