“Matteo and Joshua are lost,” I say, getting right to it. “They have also, somehow, misplaced their phone chargers—which means they have no GPS to help them get back here.”
It takes effort to sound neutral about the whole thing, and not a panicked mess who wants to have a quick off-the-record rant about how ridiculous it is that my coleader has completely wrecked this entire trip in a thousand different ways—
But that would be unprofessional.
Mark this down as one more way I stifle myself, who I really am, for the sake of my job.
“So,” I go on, “I really don’t want to do this, and this shouldn’t be on either of you—I hate to put you in this position, but—”
Trey laughs. “If you’re trying to ask for help, you can chill out a little.”
Sadie cuts her eyes at me, clearly sensing my trust issues. “He doesn’twanthelp,” she tells Trey. “But I think he’s trying to say he needs it?”
Busted.
“I should only be gone for the night,” I say. “Matteo sent me their location before his phone died, and they’re actually not too far—I can be there and back by morning, we’ll climb Mount Valerie tomorrow as planned, and ideally you’ll never even feel like I was gone. But that means you’re all without a guide overnight, until I get back.”
“It’s just eating and sleeping and hanging out, man,” Trey says. “No need to stress.”
When I take a step back, look at it from his perspective, it sounds so simple: eating, sleeping, hanging out. They’re not navigating any trails, they’re not attempting any risky excursions. They’re all extremely awareof the waterfall risks after today—I expect they’ll be hypercautious now, considering what happened with Zoe.
Sowhyis it still so hard for me to step away and trust someone else to take over, even just for a single night?
“You put too much pressure on yourself, Thorn,” Sadie says, her voice softer toward me than it’s been all day. “It’s going to be okay.Wewill be okay. Okay?”
“We’re all adults,” Trey adds. “And you’re a hiking guide, not a babysitter. We’re not hiking tonight, so if we’re being technical, a ‘guide’ isn’t strictly necessary. If something happens, we can handle it.”
When he puts it like that, it makes a lot of sense. Maybe I’m overthinking this.
“I’m more worried aboutyoubeing off on your own, honestly,” Sadie says. “I really do think we’ll be fine, Thorn.”
I meet her eyes. She does still care, even though I clearly hurt her by pushing her away—and she’s done a damn fine job all day of not letting it show. She cares a lot.
A spark of hope flickers amid my racing heartbeat.
Maybe—
Maybe, after all of this is over—
Maybe I should focus on rescuing Matteo and Joshua first, and then I can think aboutafter.
“Just kiss her already,” Trey says, oblivious to the fact that we’ve had some drama of our own. “It’s obvious you want to.”
Sadie’s gaze flits down to my lips.
I want to. I really, really do.
But I don’t want to if she’s not comfortable.
She reaches for my hand instead, and I take that for the answer it is. “Don’t get lost out there yourself,” she says. “If you don’t come back, we’ll really be screwed.”
Everything in my chest tightens: from the rejection, from the fresh wave of panic at how it feels to let go of the reins and trust someone else for once—and how, underneath the surface, there’s a part of me that thinks Matteo deserves to stay lost a little while longer, seeing how this is entirely his fault.
“That was a joke,” Sadie says, squeezing my hand. “We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
I feel her touch for hours, long after the sun has gone down and I’m in the middle of the dark woods, alone.
35SADIE
