Because of my arrogance in thinking that I could pretend to be someone I’m not, that I could lie to them without consequences.
And Rhys?—
My god, Rhys.
I’m not whole enough on my own to be the partner he deserves.
I’m not good enough for him.
I probably never will be.
For a while, I convinced myself that we were just having a fling, but every time I looked at him—I knew.
I knew he was catching feelings.
I knew I should’ve called a stop to it after the first time, because I was also catching feelings.
Feelings that I can’t indulge in.
Knowing that I hurt him too, that I hurt the kindest, most understanding, most patient, biggest-hearted man on the planet—that wounded look in his eyes will haunt me for the rest of time.
That’s the worst part.
The part where the best man I’ve ever known—the man who will likely haunt every waking moment of my life and my dreams too—is collateral damage to my innate personality.
“You need to sleep,” Cyril says behind me as I stare at my dimly lit living room and into the city lights sparkling in the night beyond.
“I need to make this right. As—as right as I can.”
“After you sleep.”
“You’re off duty. Go home and sleep yourself. The rest of the team will cover me this week.”
“You ask them to help with your plans here?”
I flinch. “No.”
“Would you?”
“My plans have changed.”
“Hmm.”
I eye his reflection in my windows. “I said, you’re dismissed.”
“You didn’t cheat. You didn’t spend thirty years lying to your kids about their genes. You’re not the bad guy here.”
“I lied to them.”
“Having insecurities that they wouldn’t like you because you don’t like yourself isn’t the same as having malicious intentions.”
I flinch again.
“You’re a good person, Margot. I’ll see myself out.”
The door shuts before I can formulate an answer.
I slip into my office and power up my computer.
