But again, I can’t force the words out of my mouth.
Because I had that happiness once—and she left too.
“I have to go.” Despite her physical poise, she’s speaking so softly I can barely hear her.
Or maybe that’s the roar of protest raging in my ears making it hard to hear anything else.
“I’ve realized what I need to do at home,” she continues. “So I’m going to go do that. And I will forever be grateful for your support and belief in me these past two weeks.”
“Don’t—” My voice cracks, and I can’t continue.
“I’ll have a personal recommendation sent over by tomorrow night, and I’ll pass word to Jonas that he should do the same. Through someone he’ll still trust. Not me directly.”
“Margot.”
“Thank you, Rhys. I knew this trip would change my life. I hope someday you’ll look back and find some good in it too.”
My fingers tingle. My thighs quake. My stomach is churning straight acid, and my heart—it’s retreating into itself.
Into safety.
Into that place where it doesn’t care because if it doesn’t care, then it can’t hurt.
Fight for her, dumbass, some small, hazy voice whispers in the back of my brain.Fucking fight for her.
But I don’t listen to it.
It’s safer to not listen to it.
Everything about the past year tells me I need to be safe.
Especially when she clearly doesn’t want me.
And then she’s gone, slipping out of the cabin and into the night.
Leaving me alone.
Alone, and lonely, and once more unable to trust my own heart.
29
AND I CAN NEVER LOVE ANYONE
Margot
I crythe entire flight back to New York.
We land sometime after two a.m., and Cyril escorts me into my Manhattan penthouse shortly before three, just as he has thousands of times before in my normal life.
The city lights sparkle below me, and the half moon hangs low in the sky, on its way to bed shortly, with the sun chasing it by a few hours.
I live on top of the world, a thousand feet in the air here in Manhattan, where I’ve furnished my space with plush, comfortable furniture, decorated in warm pastels that might not be the current style but make me happy.
And today, I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy.
I hurt people.
I went to Snaggletooth Creek, saying I didn’t want to hurt anyone—that I wanted to avoid collateral damage—and instead, the brothers I desperately want to have in my life are dealing with a family crisis because of me.
