“Nope,” Bruce answered, happy to torture the fairy any way possible, if only in this dream.
The dream prince snorted in disgust, then spent a long minute studying him. Finally Bruce gave up waiting.
“What do you want?”
“It’s not about me, Bruce. What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“Are you sure?” He held up the glowing apple, his expression making him look like the snake in the Garden of Eden. Bruce didn’t have to look twice to recognize it as the same apple he’d been offered before. The one that would give himmore, whatever that meant. As far as he was concerned, it was all bullshit.
Bruce waved his hand, knocking the thing aside. But of course, this was a dream—that was the only way to explain the fact that he was sitting on a bench made of celery—so the apple stayed right where it was, pulsing with temptation.
“Things didn’t go so well with Josh, did they?”
“What do you care?”
“Well, think about it. You want to protect your baby brother, right?”
Bruce grunted his agreement. He didn’t mean to, but the sound reverberated through the dreamscape anyway.
“That cherry you ate made you his equal,” Bitterroot continued. “He’s got just as much magic as you do. So you can’t protect him from anything he can’t handle himself. What kind of a big brother is that?”
“It’s the kind he’s got. Besides,” Bruce drawled, “it’s not the size of the wand that matters—”
“But the magic within it,” Bitterroot finished for him. “And you have a cherry’s worth of magic. I’d say that’s small potatoes, but what you ate was tinier than even that.”
Bruce winced but didn’t push. Yeah, the apple was all bright and beautiful. He knew it would taste like the best apple ever made. Hell, his taste buds were still yearning for another cherry, but he knew this apple would be even better.
But he didn’t move. His issues with Josh wouldn’t be solved by a bigger magical dick, so he looked away. Except… he couldn’t look away, so he forced his eyes shut. Only they were already shut, because this was a dream.
In the end, he fuzzed out his thoughts. “If that’s all you’ve got,” he murmured, “I was taking a nap.”
“Are you so sure about that?” the fairy taunted. “I think your partner might prefer you to be awake.”
At first his mind flashed to his partner at the firehouse, but Joey was doing fine. Last he’d heard, the fireman was on a Disney vacation with his sister’s kids and probably rocking it out with Mickey. Meanwhile, Mr. Salad Elf huffed out a crouton and threw it at Bruce’s head.
“Not that partner, idiot.That one.” The landscape around them zeroed in on Laddin screaming as he flailed at… at… flying Cheetos? Bruce couldn’t see clearly, and the more he blinked and focused, the less he could make out.
Then he saw Laddin’s face. He’d gone pale, and his skin showed sweat. He was flailing at something and maybe screaming. Bruce couldn’t hear, but the panic was clear—Laddin’s and his own. His heart had started racing, and he lurched forward to try to get to the guy.
Then everything disappeared. The whole landscape was replaced by the obnoxious fairy and his damned glowing apple.
“Where is he? Where’s Laddin?”
Bitterroot held up the apple. “Care to make a purchase? It won’t cost much,” he offered. “I swear.”
“Fuck you,” Bruce snapped. Then he focused as hard as he could on waking up.
He jolted awake, gasping as he half rolled off the bench. His arms got tangled in a heavy blanket, and he threw it off him with a curse. Then he searched around frantically for Laddin, but he couldn’t see him. Just an endless landscape of newly turned field. Hell, he could be anywhere!
Bruce did a slow circle, searching for a clue. All he saw was the fairy leaning against a tree while eating an apple. For a split second Bruce had a moment of panic. Was thathisapple? Had he taken too long to decide? Was the bastard even now eating—?
No. It wasn’t his apple, and the fairy wanted him to say yes. Plus, he didn’t intend to eat the inventory anyway. This was a ruse to get him to panic and say yes in desperation. But it wasn’t going to happen. He had to think of a better way of finding Laddin.
“You’d find him immediately if you took me up on my offer.”
“I don’t even know that what you showed me is real.”
