Laddin had ditched the ex, but he missed the skin-to-skin contact he’d had with a lover. He ached for someone to touch while they were watching TV. And he needed someone to banter with when the long days became even longer nights. They didn’t have to be deep discussions. Even a conversation about the Lakers was special when it happened with someone he cared about.
He sat there on the bench, enjoying the moment while his mind wandered. Naturally, it went to sex, something that was bound to happen when he was snuggled against a hot firefighter. Laddin didn’t get the impression that Bruce was into men, so in a backward kind of way, that gave him the freedom to fantasize about all sorts of dirty things with him. They’d never happen, and Bruce would never know, so why not indulge in some very adult make-believe?
If he’d been alone, he’d probably rub one out. Hell, his cock was already throbbing at the pictures in his head, but he could show restraint. He could close his eyes and imagine this big warrior arching in need as Laddin sucked him off. He could feel the sharp bite of penetration as he impaled himself on Bruce’s cock. And best of all, he could imagine slowly, gently bending Bruce over as he spread the man’s iron cheeks and thrust inside. It would feel like being surrounded in muscle. And then he’d reach around to grip Bruce’s thick cock and hold on for the ride.
God, he wanted that. And those images were so graphic that he nearly came in his pants. He didn’t, but his very next shower would be extra special.
So he sat, and when he opened his eyes, he let his gaze wander over the dark field. Odd how there was no sign of the slow death of the state here. It wasn’t surprising, he guessed, since Lake Wacka Wacka was fifty miles away. It was the closest they could get and still stay under the radar. They didn’t have any official standing as scientists, military, or reporters, so they did what they could from here. And when they couldn’t, they found a way to sneak in, either in their wolf forms or with an invisibility spell.
Puff. Puff-puff.
There it was again. Laddin narrowed his eyes as he tried to see clearly. Orange puffs of smoke exploded right next to an oak tree. There was a little bit of greenery dividing the fields. Low bushes, that one large oak tree, and—there they were again. Puffs of orange smoke. What the hell was that?
He had to know. And sitting here with Bruce was getting him so horny—he had to do something or burst. With careful hands, he eased Bruce’s head onto the back of the bench. Then he touched the man’s face, trying to judge if his skin was cool. Nope. Still Mr. Furnace, so he’d be okay for a bit longer. Better yet, Laddin spied a plastic trunk next to the house. Opening it, he found thick afghans, probably meant for this purpose. He grabbed two and draped the first around Bruce, then wrapped the second around himself.
Then he took off to find out what was exploding like cheese powder between two wheat fields.
It took him a while to get there—it was a lot farther away than he expected—but something kept drawing him closer. It was the oddness of the puffs. Sometimes they were small and splintered into three. Sometimes they were slow in the air but had a big explosion. He was an expert in demolitions, but he couldn’t figure out what kind of charge would make those booms. And they were booms. Not very loud ones, but they were definitely there according to his werewolf ears.
If anything, it reminded him of the Angry Birds game that so many of the crew played between takes. And as he got closer, he could see the different-colored bombs flying up in the air, sometimes high, sometimes low, sometimes splintering, and sometimes bouncing in ways only possible in a video game.
About a hundred yards out, the smell hit. If he hadn’t been so intrigued by the explosions, he would have stopped in his tracks. But he didn’t, though the stench grew increasingly vile. It was like the worst kind of foot odor gone nuclear, or something forgotten in a refrigerator for years. At first it just made his stomach rebel, but as he got closer, his eyes began to water and he had to cover his nose with the heavy blanket. He was starting to think the explosions were stink bombs the wind carried straight at him.
He was sure it was paranormal. Nothing natural could smell this horrible—not without someone noticing much earlier. He would have to text Nero to let the team know something dicey was happening out here, but he wanted to have more information first. Smelly exploding lights weren’t enough to go on. Plus, he was just a few feet away from seeing….
Laddin stopped walking and blinked a half dozen times. There were little pieces of cheese all over the field! He noticed several slices of American cheese, but he also glimpsed blue cheese, gorgonzola, brie, and cheddar. The only reason he recognized them was because his mother had once dated a cheese snob, and she and Laddin had learned all the different kinds as a way to impress the guy.
Except normal cheeses didn’t have little legs and arms, and didn’t jump around like….
Pixies! He was watching little pixies shaped like cheese launching themselves into the air with a slingshot like in the Angry Birds game. Oh my God, the sight blew his mind. And it also explained the smell, because honestly, some of those cheeses were like a fart from a warthog.
He grinned as he decided to spy on the cute little fairies. He knew he should be careful. The fae in any form were dangerous, so he had to stay out of sight. But they were pixies, all shaped like cheeses. And wasn’t that the most adorable sight ever?
He needed to take pictures. No way could he explain this to Nero without evidence. He silently pulled out his cell phone as he tried to make sense of what they were doing.
Simply put, they were playing Angry Birds. The pixies were loading a slingshot full of cheddar cheese bombs and launching it at a knee-high structure made of rocks and sticks. In the game, there would be a pig in the makeshift structure, and he could see something inside it, but he couldn’t tell what. And now he knew what those puffs of orange were. They came from little cheddar cheese bombs exploding against the stick structure.
Totally precious! He was so captivated that he forgot that the air smelled incredibly foul, especially after one of those cheese bombs exploded. He made the mistake of inhaling.
Oh hell. There was no way to stop the sneeze. He tried, but everything he did just made more noise before a truly loud, from-the-gut sneeze ripped through his nostrils.
When his watering eyes finally cleared, he saw that every single cheese was staring at him. And pointing. And screaming one word in unison.
“Attack!”
Chapter 8
BRUCE DISCOVERS FAIRY CHEESE
BRUCE FELTsafe, which was weird because nothing in his life was safe. Not his job, not his parents, not even his little brother. The only one he felt reasonably confident about was his little sister, Ivy, but that was because she’d finished her deployment and was home. No suicide bombers likely to get her in Indiana.
And yet life had never felt more relaxed than it did when he stretched out on a bench with Laddin. Normally hyperactive guys like Laddin drove him nuts. Squirrels were less animated than his trainer. And yet the man made him laugh. Even better, he respected Laddin’s intelligence, which made him feel like he wasn’t alone against a whole lot of crazy. Apparently that relaxed him enough to fall asleep right there on the bench when he really ought to be finding out what it meant to be a werewolf.
He knew he should force himself to wake up, but every firefighter knew the value of a good nap. He’d doze for five more minutes, then start asking questions.
It went exactly as he planned. Five minutes into sleep, he started asking questions. Only he just wasn’t talking to Laddin. No, Mr. Salad Elf appeared right in front of him, his tomato hat slipping to the left so that a tomato seed dangled from his ear like an earring.
“Really?” Bitterroot said, gesturing at his outfit. “Can’t you think of something else? My clothing comes from your memoires.”
