I broke us.
“Sadie?”Collin calls to me through what sounds like a train tunnel.“Sadie.Look at me.You’re freaking me out.”
I broke us.
I blink, bringing Collin into focus.I’m sitting on the passenger seat of the Charger inside the garage.Collin is crouched beside me.I don’t know how I got here.Or when it got dark outside.
“Are you back?”
I nod.
“That kinda sucked, huh?”
I nod again.
“What did I do?”I cover my face with my hands.“What.Did.I Do?”
I broke us.
Collin takes my hands from my face and holds them between his.“He’s… vulnerable right now.He just dumped a ton of shit on us all at once, and instead of sticking around to talk it out, he left.”
“Onus?”I’m confused.I thought Jonathan was yelling atme.
“He never told me about his dad either.Not aboutthat.” Collin releases a slow breath.“You were right.I’m sorry.I didn’t look close enough.”
“Because we wanted to believe him,” I say in our defense.“Every time he told us it was an accident.Or a fight.Or from football.”
“I think I knew better, really.If I think about it, I saw enough to put it all together, but I didn’t.I didn’twantto.”
“What do we do now?Should we go find him?”There’s a frenetic flutter in my stomach, an anxiety that’s overtaking me.I can’t stay idle and let him walk away from me.Not this time.
“First”—he hands me my phone—“you need to call your mom before she sends the police out searching for you.She’s called at least five times.”
“What time is it?”I open my phone.“I need to go.We’re supposed to be at the tree lighting in an hour.”Then I remember the plan for tonight.“You’re coming with me, right?”
“I guess.I mean, I’m not posing for pictures with the mayor, like you probably are, but I’ll come so we can go to the bonfire after.”
“Where do you think he went?”I’m calculating the night.How much time do I have to spend at the tree?To get Danika?When all I want to do is find Jonathan and fix us.
“If he’s not at my house, then he’s probably with Briar.Or one of the other guys from the swim team.They have a meet tomorrow.”
“They do?”I used to know Jonathan’s entire swim schedule by heart.“How is he going to…” I think of the bruises.How much he must hurt.But I consider all of the other times he’s been injured in some way, probably more than I knew, and he never missed a meet.
“He has one of those full-body suits.No one will know.”
That’s not what I was thinking about, but that’s true too.
“I can’t believe his father did that to him.Has beendoing that to him.”I feel sick.
My phone rings.I jump to my feet, nearly sending Collin onto his butt.“C’mon,” I say to Collin, rushing out of the garage as I answer the phone with trembling hands.Adrenaline.Panic.Fear.All of the above.
“Where have you been?”
“I’m on my way.I couldn’t find my phone.Collin had to help me.So he’s with me.I’ll be right there.”My words are a rush as I move on autopilot out of the garage.I don’t remember being able to lie so easily.I usually have to strategize and end up overthinking it.
“Your outfit is hanging in your bathroom.We may have to meet you there.Be quick, Sadie.This is an important night for your dad.”
“I know.”Addlying daughterto my growing list of failures.“I’m not far.”
