But then he sees what I’ve discovered.His gaze flicks to mine.I stare back.
“What is this?”my mother asks, approaching the table with apprehension.She slides the pages and pictures around to get a better look.The blood drains from her face.She turns to my father.Dad is too far away to see their details.But he knows exactly what they are.“Eli?What am I looking at?”
He doesn’t move.Doesn’t speak.His ethics and oath challenged.And when he does open his mouth, he lies.
“There was nothing I could do.”
I slap the table, making my mother jump.“Stop lying!”
“Sadie,” she scolds, more out of habit than conviction.
“How long has he been paying you to look the other way?”My voice is flat and emotionless.
“Is that what you really believe?”He scoffs like I’m being dramatic.
“I’m hoping that’s what it is.Because otherwise, it means you chose to do nothing after receiving picture after picture.Written details of every slap.Punch.Burn.Choke hold.Broken bone.”I lean on the table, eyeing the man who I trusted more than anyone.The person I went to when my world felt too big.The father who promised to protect me.I never imagined it would be from the truth.
My voice is unfamiliar to me.It’s wrapped in barbs and poisonous thorns.“He was a child when he came to you for help.A boy, the age his brother is now.He was scared and hurt.He asked you for help, and all you did was keep a file!A collection of brutality.For what?For what, Dad?!Tell me!”
“I did the best that I could to keep him out of trouble.I tried to help him find a different path.”
Than his father.He doesn’t say it, but I can hear the words.And Hal’s father.
“Did Hal’s father hurt him too?”I ask.“Did you know?Or maybe you didn’t, and that’s why you won’t do anything now.Because you feel like you owe him?”
Pain flashes in his eyes.
“Is that true, Eli?”My mother recognizes it too.
“It was even harder back then.Discipline had a fist or a belt, and there wasn’t anyone to protect him.It was just the way it was.Never right, but accepted.We promised to leave this town, get away from his father.But he stayed… and became him.”
When Mom turns her gaze to me, there’s a storm of confusion and pain clouding her blue eyes.
“It’s hard to know what to do when we watch the people we love being hurt.”
I’m unable to decipher her emotions.Whether she’s seeking compassion for my father.Or mourning his betrayal.
“You were my age when you were Hal’s best friend and wanted to help him.And I know how powerless it can feel.But you’re not now.You’re my dad.And you swore to protect the people who don’t have anyone.You’ve told me my entire life that you want to keep them from becoming part of the problem.”
“Why do you think I changed sides?Because I can’t protect them!”He sounds like he’s barely hanging on, fingertips gripping the edge of a cliff.“I kept losing, no matter how many cases I won.There’s no breaking the cycle once they walk in my door.They’re already in it.Maybe I can end it from the other side.Convict the ones perpetuating it.Cycle break from above.I don’t know how else to do it.”
“Sounds like you gave up,” I say, a tear clinging to my lashes.“Because my dad, the one I grew up idolizing, would never have returned the boy I love back to the father who did this to him.”
I jam my finger on the pictures.
Mom clutches her chest.“Eli?”
“You broke my heart today, Dad.”My voice cracks.I struggle to get the words out.“Don’t make Jonathan stay in that house one more night.Don’t let his father control his future.And don’t you decide mine.”
“Sadie.”My dad says my name like it’s a plea for forgiveness.
I won’t give it.
“Because if anything happens to Jonathan—anything at all—that’s on you.And I’ll never forgive you.”
I gather the papers and photos and walk past my stunned parents.
“Where are you going?”Mom calls after me.
