His pain is mine.His desperate words rip my chest open.
“Hal,” my father warns, “we didn’t agree to this.”
“I’m tired of you disrespecting me, boy.I am yourfather.I’ve put a roof over your head for nearly eighteen years.I hired world-class swim instructors to perfect your stroke.Hell, you wouldn’t be getting a damn scholarship if it weren’t for me.Now shut your fucking mouth and thank Eli for his generosity.Then get your ass home, where it belongs.I will not let you break your mother’s heart.Do you hear me?”
“Hal, take your hands off him,” my father orders.
I shake my head like it’ll change the words.My dad wants to make a difference.To break cycles.Why is he tossing Jonathan right back into the ring?
I take a breath, but my lungs are sealed shut.I take another and another, but the air doesn’t go deep enough.
“Sadie?”Collin’s voice is a distant echo.
“I can’t… I can’t do this.”
“Where are you going?”he hisses.He reaches for me, but I’m stumbling down the hall and around the corner.
My entire body’s closing down.My vision’s a small tunnel of light.
I reach for the nearest door and falter inside.My heart’s beating too fast.
Collin follows me inside.I can’t hear what he’s saying.He closes the door behind us.
I slink to the floor, crumpling into a ball.
This can’t be real.This isn’t happening.
I close my eyes and focus on my breaths.But I’m breathing through a straw.
Everything blurs.I’m trapped in the spiral.Heart racing.Fingers tingling.
My world’s slipped sideways, and I don’t know how to set it right.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Help?Help, Sadie?!I tried that.There isn’t anyone who can help me.”
“Come back, and I will kill you.”
“Truth is subjective.”
“She needs to make her own choices.”
“Open your eyes, girl.You are the only one who can see the truth.”
My eyes open with a deep inhale.I scan the dark room, orienting myself.I’m in the small conference room.
I push up to sit.
The voices still echo.
The Maiden’s the last to fade.
“Hey.”Collin crouches beside me.
I’m breathing heavily.My lungs remembering their job.
“You freak me out every time that happens.”
