Gavin comes up behind the chair and lifts the back legs off the ground, spilling me onto the carpet.He claims the throne, and I release a resigned huff.I cross my legs and lean back against him.He doesn’t kick me like he might’ve a few years ago.Small signs of maturity.
“When was the first time you got drunk?”I ask him, not remembering if I’ve ever met drunk Gavin.
“Last summer.”
“Seriously?”I knew he didn’t drink to excess, but that seems later in life than I expected.
“I don’t like being out of control.”
That’s an understatement.
“Makes sense.Did you have a reason?”I inquire, hoping to make a point.
“Messy ending.”His tone is even and unbothered.
“You were dating someone?”Evidently, it was my summer of oblivion.I wasn’t paying attention to anyone except Jonathan, not that I care what my brother does or who he dates—as long as it’s not one of my friends.
“Wouldn’t say that.It was a summer thing.Got more intense than it should have.”
I often wonder how we’re related.I can’t compartmentalize my feelings the way he does.I can hide them when appropriate, but there’s no avoiding or shutting them off.I don’t know if Gavin’s ever loved someone.Or if love’s about control for him too.
“So, you drank because of some girl.Why are you mad if I did over a guy?”I quickly add, “But I didn’t.”
“How do you know it was over a girl?”
I twist to look up at him.“Are you… messing with me?”
He has a glass of something dark in hand.Probably bourbon.My parents let us have one drink during the holidays.Gavin usually sneaks more.
“Do I have to declare my sexuality to you?”
I shrug.“No.But I don’t want to offend you by assuming anything.”
“You’re not that powerful.”
I make an immature face at him.
“But I’m… open.I don’t know.Nothing to declare really.Girls.Guys.Whatever.”
“Okay,” I say simply and lean back against his legs.I’m not really surprised.Gavin’s always done whatever he wants.Rules may not apply.More anarchist than elitist while still looking aristocratic.That’s a messed-up image now that I’m thinking about it.
“Where did your weird little mind go?”
“You don’t want to know.”Then I consider what I should be asking him.“Have you ever been in a fight?”
My brother is silent.As much as I want to look at him right now, I fight to remain still.And wait.
“Is this a Reeves thing?”
“It’s a why do guys hurt people thing.”
He’s quiet again.
“You should know I’ve never needed my fists to hurt anyone.”
This spins me around.I can’t believe he just said that.
Gavin takes a long draw from the tumbler.His eyes reflect the light from the tree.“Your trees look more chaotic every year.”
