“Do you regret it?”
“Regret what?”
“Hurting her?”We’ve never spoken about Danika.He barely recognizes her as one of my friends.But now I need to know.I’m tired of remaining silent.
He leans his head against the worn leather.“I regret that she felt she had to hurt herself because of me.”
“That’s it?”I don’t know what I expected from him.I don’t think he’s apologized for anything his entire life.Screw him.I’d like to tell him that, too, except I need his college brain right now.“Could Dad help her, legally, if he wanted to?You know, against Oren?”
“That’s a criminal matter.So, not until he’s prosecutor, and even then, he wouldn’t handle it directly.He has associates for that.And from what I know, there were witness statements taken that day, so her account of the details will be supported.He may not get jail time though.Depends.But at least a restraining order and probation.”
“What if she didn’t have witnesses?”
“It’d be messier.Especially with all the times people saw them arguing and her throwing things at him.She’s been known to assault him too.It’d be harder to convince a jury that she’s a victim.”
“Really?”That depresses me, but sadly, doesn’t surprise me.“How do you know so much about their relationship?”
“It’s not a very big town.I still live here even if I never come home.And this isn’t about Danika.It’s about Jonathan and Hal.”
A spike of shock zips through me.“How do you know that?”
“Because I’m smarter than you.”
I turn back around and don’t say anything.The last thing I want is for him to demand I stay away from Jonathan again.Or tell me I’m better off without him.
“No one will believe your boy.Not without a witness.”Gavin stands, kicks my butt and leaves.I’m still stunned that he knows so much, even about this.
I remain on the floor, staring at the lights until they’re a blur of colors.I’m unable to see clearly anymore.
Christmas is our day.The one day of the year it’s just the four of us.And we’re so sappy about it; we could be a cheesy Christmas movie.Each year, we wear different matching pajamas and drink hot chocolate.This year, we’re in red silk sets with white trim, selected by Mom.Even Gavin.He’s yet to rebel against the tradition.He doesn’t resist my parents as much as he resists the world.He cares what they think of him.That’s where we differ.
“Why do you have garland on your head?”my mother asks.“I can’t post pictures of you looking like that.”
“It’s my halo.I’m representing my birthday theme,” I say with a bratty smile.
Gavin snags it from my head, and I holler, reaching for it.“Your angelic privileges have been revoked.Especially after this year.”
“I haven’t been bad,” I argue.I hold up a package with a red satin ribbon tied in a perfect bow.“Santa still brought presents.”
Being around my brother always seems to revert me back to my ten-year-old self.Teasing.Arguing.Pushing and tugging.My parents don’t even try to intervene anymore.
After watching Elf in the theatre roomtogether, I stand and stretch.Mom is curled up next to my dad, asleep.Gavin is texting with someone.I don’t ask with who.He’ll never tell me.Doesn’t mean I don’t try to peek when I walk by.He covers the screen with his middle finger.
I give my dad a kiss on the cheek.“Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, my girl.”
I flick Gavin’s ear as I leave and head up to my room.
I decorated my room with twinkling snowflakes.The flickering lights make it look magical.And surprisingly, it’s still fairly clean since Darcy organized it.
On the center of my bed is a metallic-silver box.My heart warms at the little surprise.
I sit on the bed and pull off the lid.
Inside is a white card that fits perfectly in the bottom of the box.In square black letters, it reads I miss you.When I lift it out, written on the back is I miss us.Beneath is a framed picture of me, standing between Jonathan and Collin.We have our arms around each other’s necks.Our faces are tanned, cheeks red from too much sun or running around.My hair is barely contained in its braid.We’re each making a face at the camera.Collin’s cross-eyed.I’m making a fish face.And Jonathan’s puckered mouth is pulled to the side with his eyes looking in the opposite direction, right at me.
I let out a choked laugh.Tears blur my vision.This was the summer before high school.When we were still young enough not to know better.But my heart still knew what love felt like.And I love these boys.Then and now.
