I shove Buttercup back into my waistband so fast I’m genuinely surprised I don’t accidentally shoot myself somewhere extremely unfortunate while my heart is actively trying to escape through my ribcage.
“Yes!” I yell back and my voice comes out sounding strangled by adrenaline and aborted murder. “I’ll lock up!”
“Great!” she calls back. “See you tomorrow!”
The door slams shut with a bang that echoes through the alley.
And oddly, it sounds like a shotgun blast.
Mayor Nash squints my way in the dim evening light.
“Effie? Is that you back there?”
Wonderful. He recognizes me. This is perfect. Exactly what you want when you were thirty seconds away from taking someone out—positive identification.
“Hey, Mayor Nash!” I wave at him like an absolute lunatic because apparently, that’s what my body decides to do when caught almost-murdering a public official. “Just taking out the trash!” And according to Uncle Jimmy, it’s Mayor Nash who is the trash.
“Don’t work too hard.” He straightens his tie and starts walking toward the street. “You have yourself a good night, Effie!”
“You, too, Mayor Nash! Great seeing you!”
He’s a nice guy. And he’s also a dead man walking.
He disappears around the corner and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Well, I think as my heart rate slowly returns to something approaching normal, that went great.
I head back inside to grab my stuff because I’ve got a dinner date with Cooper and his nightmare of a sister. And honestly? After almost shooting the mayor and then getting caught mid-attempt, sitting through a couple hours of whatever Loretta Pastrami has to offer sounds like a breeze.
I say bring the insanity.
It’s got to be better than a murder conviction.
CHAPTER 14
The Red, White & Brew Café on Main Street looks like Uncle Sam dropped into town and then decided to open a restaurant.
Every surface is draped in something star-spangled, and even the servers are wearing enough flag-themed clothing to outfit a small parade—like the town isn’t in the middle of a murder investigation.
The outdoor patio where Cooper and Loretta are sitting features miniature American flags sprouting from Mason jar centerpieces—because subtlety is not on the menu. The speakers blast Fourth of July dinner music that sounds more like a political rally.
I’ve got to give it to Honey Hollow—these townsfolk really know how to lean into a holiday despite the climbing body count.
Cooper looks like he’d rather be investigating a triple homicide than having dinner with his sister, while Loretta holds court in another leopard print ensemble that has probably sent an entire slew of senior citizen men to their graves. She is heart-stopping, but not in a good way.
“There they are,” I tell Niki as we approach with Watson trotting beside us, his flag bandana coordinating perfectlywith the restaurant’s aggressive patriotism. “Brace yourself for drama.”
“I live for drama,” Niki replies. “Besides, this is going to be fun. I love a good dating intervention.”
It’s true. I brought her along to help mitigate peace when it comes to Loretta’s scuffle with Nona Jo. Who knows where those two will end up if let to their own devices.
Watson barks, announcing our arrival, and immediately begins his manipulative charm offensive on nearby diners who are noshing on freedom fries and liberty burgers.
“Effie.” Cooper’s face lights up like I just shape-shifted into a human life preserver. “Perfect timing.”
Loretta looks up and fixes Niki with a look that could freeze hell in August.
“Well, well, well,” Loretta drawls, her voice dripping with an Italian attitude that could start international incidents. That is, if she hasn’t already. “If it isn’t little Niki Canelli. Still playing dress-up, I see.”
