I can get on board with that. “Well, today we can pretend we are both happy and well-adjusted.”
The two of us giggle and she pats my arm. “I like that plan. Speaking of happiness and making good choices, how are things with the client?”
I was really hoping I could avoid this conversation, but I should’ve known better. “Honestly?”
“Do we lie to each other?” Meredith asks.
“No, we don’t.” However, I’m getting really good at lying to myself since I keep saying how this is casual and I’m not falling in love with him. I keep my gaze down, not wanting to look at her when I confess this part. “I’m worried,” I admit.
“About what? Did he hurt you?”
The concern in her voice has me speaking quickly. “No, no, the opposite.”
“Okay…”
“I like him, Mer. I really do. I told you that we went on a date but it was so sweet. He slipped a note under my door withinstructions, and…the whole night was perfect.” Even him crying at the end of the movie. “Everything he did, it was to make me feel special.”
“Youarespecial, Tessa.”
For the first twenty years of my life, I never felt that way. I was sad, alone, always working and pushing myself to be whatever others needed. My mother needed a friend who she could complain to, so I was that. My brother needed a mother to take care of him, so I was that. My friends needed someone who they could treat like shit and take it, and I was really good at being that.
Then I met Meredith.
She didn’t treat me like shit. She didn’t require or demand anything of me. I was who I was with her, and she accepted it.
I didn’t know that a friendship could be that.
She’s also the first person who ever made sure I knew how special I was.
I let out a long sigh, still struggling to believe the words most of the time. “You know that I struggle with my self-worth.”
“Yes, but it seems like this guy sees what I see. So, what’s his name, I’d like to do the proper bestie stalking and make sure there’s no skeletons in his closet we need to know about.”
I snort a laugh. “Absolutely not. You know he’s a client and there’s no way I’m giving you any information about him.”
My job is to fix his image, not give any hint of scandal to it.
“Who the hell am I going to tell?”
“Doesn’t matter, just know that part of my job is to investigate them so I’ve done my due diligence on his background.”
“Okay, but this is my favorite thing to do,” Meredith complains.
I smile. “And that’s what worries me.”
“You’re no fun. You know I’ll find out his name and everything else when I meet him.”
That is never going to happen. “Mer, that’s…not possible. What we have…it can’t last. I’m going to go back to New York.”
We stop outside of one of the storefronts, and she turns to face me. “No matter where you go, if it works out or it fails miserably, life is about living. It’s not about guarding yourself and hoping for the best. When we started dating, Jake lived in Virginia and I was in Georgia. I didn’t think it was going to work out. I sure as hell didn’t want to move here after college, but for him, I made it work. I’m not saying this guy is worth it, only you can decide that, but you deserve to be happy.” She presses her hand to my cheek. “If he makes you happy, then fight to hold on to it for as long as you can.”
“I’m really impressed with how things are going, Tessa,” Brynlee says on our conference call. “Killian said you’ve been an incredible help and offered some real solutions. How did he feel about Buck Wild being started?”
I force a smile. “He was reluctant at first, but he eventually relented.”
And then we had sex…a lot of it.
Since our date, I’ve somehow lost the ability to compartmentalize the fact that I’m here for work. It’s as if my brain stopped remembering that little part of our arrangement, but right now, it’s very apparent that I’m here for Anchor Light, and I need to remember that.
