"I was going to have it fixed at first, then I don’t know... At first when I came home from the hospital I would sit in the back seat and scream. Then it felt too morbid to sit in it anymore, but I don’t know it became something I needed to hold on too."
I try so hard to be understanding, but with this I couldn’t support it. Keeping this was toxic. "Noah, you need to sell it or junk it or something. This isn’t healthy."
He nods and looks to the driveway where Carrie pulls in with Noelle and the newest to the bunch Bowden (Bowie) Harvard Blake. Now, Chad made it a point to name him something cool since according to him I started the trend with Axe and he tells me often how badass I did. He actually tried to convince Carrie that because he was a Rockstar he could be respected for naming Bowie, Slash.
Carrie denied the request and settled happily on Bowie after months of debate.
She pales the minute she sees the car and I swoop Bowie from her arms and Noelle jumps into Noah’s. The first time I held Noelle she looked terrified like I would taint her, but these days I have formed a good relationship with her and am honored when I am referred to as Auntie Jen.
"Noah, why the hell do you have this car in here? I thought you sold it?" She asks and gives me a half hug, her shock and mortification still on her face.
"I did, it's why it’s in here."
I finally sigh in relief hearing that and Carrie calms down immediately hearing him confirm it.
"It creeps me out Bub, its way to morbid." She says and covers it back up, her eyes lingering on the back seat through the shattered windows and shivers.
"Bright doesn’t know I have it, that I have had it here in the big garage, but I don’t want her to know feel me?" He asks us and Carrie and I both agree. "Fell you." She says and I laugh uncomfortably. "Yeah I definitely feel you. Some things are okay as secrets."
Carrie rests her hand on the hood of the car for a brief moment and looks at Noah. "I remember when you picked me up that day from the hospital after Cody attacked me and forced me to lay down in the back and shut me up with 'Down in a hole'."
He nods remembering. "Be glad I did I was ready to wring your neck that day."
Noah explains that he and Chad had a huge blow out over Carrie breaking up with him in the hospital and that Carrie was being a pussy.
I wait for her to get mad, but she just rolls her eyes and points to Bowie and Noelle. "Obviously we worked it out." She says and Bowie reaches for her and I hand him over while Noelle reaches for me and Bowie for Noah. Like kiddie musical arms.
Noah immediately starts to throw him in the air and get him laughing until he spits up and it almost hits Noah's shoes. "Nope, he's yours now." He says and hands him to Carrie who laughs.
"So… the moving truck is on its way. Chad will be here after Harvey’s appointment." You can see the fear ebb in when she speaks about Harvey, Chads grandfather.
"How is he?" Noah asks and I pull my hair down so Noelle can play with it.
She just shakes her head no and looks to Noelle. We pick up immediately that it's not good news and that she wants Noelle protected from hearing the bad news.
"I feel you. Later?" He asks and looks at her, his intense eyes making it clear he wants the details.
She nods and turns her back to keep us from seeing her tears. Noah goes for Bowie again and lets her catch her breath and I change the subject.
"So, moving? Where too? Why didn’t I know about this until moving day?"
"Because I bought the house a few days ago and am surprising Bright and the kid with it when they get home on Thursday."
"Thursday? That’s tomorrow!" I say and Noelle covers my mouth because I am almost screaming.
"I know, it's why I asked for reinforcements." He points to Carrie then me. "That’s you guys. Shame, Cass and Chad will be here later."
I feel myself go pale, scared that Cal will be here. Noah see's my fear though and squats down. "He won’t be here Jen. He is picking Mya up from the airport and going with his folks to see John Fogerty. With Axe. You know this baby girl."
I nod and he stands handing Carrie Bowie now that she has her shit together. "Mind taking the kids in for a snack? I got to talk to Jen."
He says it so simply but leaves no room for explanation or argument and she nods.
"Sure..." She looks at me and see's my eyes glassy and smiles. "Whatever it is, it'll work itself out Jen."
I smile and nod, knowing I don’t believe it.
He leans back and sips from his coffee and I unleash everything from the other night. Every detail, down to his telling me it would hurt when I saw him with someone new.
