"Well, he says they booked last minute when his headliner cancelled. He is going to move some shit around to get you as the headliner, but he asked that we play a few with you as a favor?"
"That’s cool, I like that idea because you guys had a part in my going so far."
"Bro we can do a bad ass set list though that has you shining. Go to some of the best guitar songs on your list of faves and throw a few of our best in the mix."
"I dig it." I say and stand reaching for my keys.
"Tiny isn’t gonna promote it either so that we don’t take from the cover. Once he announces it though, all bets are off."
He is smiling and playing a beat on the counter with his hands. "Yeah that’s good man." I say and squeeze his shoulder. "I’m gonna head out I want to loosen the fingers before I take it hard all night. Can we meet at five, just us guys so I know the set is tight?"
"Hey, what’s up man?" He asks me and I know I look like a jackass. I should be through the roof excited and I will be once I start playing and get a set for the night.
"Just got a lot on my brain man."
He follows me as I make my way to the door, grabbing my shoulders and guiding me back to the den. He pours two more drinks and points at the chair.
"Look, we been boys for our whole life. I know when shit has you upset so tell me now before it fucks you up on the biggest party of your life."
I laugh arrogantly. "Dude, it’s me. I take anything music and business serious."
He doesn’t buy it though. "Is it about Tay?"
I cringe and roll my eyes. "No, fuck her. I don’t bother with that shit anymore. I think it’s always going to sting but she doesn’t affect me anymore."
"Old Red still giving you the run around?"
He knows he is right when I groan and scrub my face.
"Dude, what’s her deal? Honestly? You’ve been pretty straight with her over everything right?"
I get why he asks. I toyed with Tay for years, always abandoning her even when I knew I was in love with her. But with Jen, no way. I have been extremely clear.
"She thinks that after all these years and nothing ever coming from her brand of fighting for me, that now I am rebounding on her."
"I didn’t know that fucking you and all your friends was in the how to get a man handbook." He laughs and shakes his head. "Color me fucking stupid."
I am irritated by the easiness for how he sees her, even though on some level he is right. "Dude come on..." I say and clasp my fingers behind my neck.
"I’m not saying it to insult Jenny, Cal. I am trying to give you an angle here. Did she ever say hey Dorian I only want you? Or give any indication she wasn’t more than a good time? Dude she was a partier and she need to take some accountability in it."
"I know and I agree, but there were times once we made it big that she tried being sweet and all that. In that it was me, not her. She wanted that connection we had back in the day and I really thought she came to those feelings because of my fame." I look at him and drink more from the whiskey. "I am starting to think it went way deeper and way before I picked up on it though and in that I am the dick."
He watches me, deep in thought and I know he is picking his words lightly. "Maybe, maybe not. You were always messing around with Pope in Jr high and High school and she never gave a fuck about committing then, so you had every right to think that. We don’t live in the same world now days Cal. Every chick is looking for a sugar daddy, honestly Jen had so many chances to own up to her feelings."
She wasn’t okay with it back then. We had something special, maybe puppy love maybe just comfort. I still don’t tell Shame that. "Yeah maybe." I say but I still can’t get the why... why now, when all the shit is aligned and we can see what happens she runs? "We had it out the other night bro, hard. Like, she has me acting like a fucking psychopath."
I tell him about the fight and my aggression in wanting her and I know he is disappointed in me, I see it.
"Dude, if this shit is making you that crazy then maybe you need to go to Noah on this one, for some insight at least."
I laugh like the crazy fool she has made me. "Your high right? Noah is her closest friend, like best friends forever shit. No shot in hell I am causing that wedge in us. No way, bro we are finally tight again after that shit at Skin when he went to rehab. It's not a boat I am going to rock anytime soon."
I stand and pour one more whiskey, a small one knowing I need to drive. "I think I just need some time apart from her."
He looks at me with a copious amount of guilt. "Dude, she was in that text I sent. I didn’t know shit was bad and figured she would obviously get the invite to something this huge."
I laugh and shake my head. "No shot in hell she will show, not after the other night."
