Holy shit I have to wrap my head around this fucked up piece to this nightmare.“Babe, I will marry you if it is what you want and need to help you get through this. I have no problem with that commitment.”
“This sounds like you are about to tell me no Sassy.” He says and closes his eyes, hurt by my reaction.
“No, I will never tell you no, not when we are talking forever baby. All I am saying is that by running off and eloping I am scared it will be a slap in the face to Noah, when everyone learns we did it in the midst of all of this.”
“Baby…” He says and I can hear the reasonable side of Shamus James coming back on line. “This is about us, you and me and nothing else right now. I need to marry you baby because I failed last time. We do not get second chances often baby and Noah got robbed his only chance.” He kisses me softly and cups my face in his hands and looks at me as he speaks. “Marry me baby. We can have a wedding for everyone else down the road when we feel like it and until then this is our secret, but marry me now. Be mine now.”
I think of Noah and Candey and the life they were both robbed of. I think of all the sadness in my world right now, and that this time is my second chance and I am grateful.“Yes.” I say and kiss him.
This is my second chance and a new beginning. This is ours forever and ever and I cant deny it.
I never could.
Find me here,
And speak to me.
I want to feel you,
I need to hear you.
You are the light,
That's leading me,
To the place,
Where I find peace again.
Lifehouse
Chapter Thirty
Cassa
At five o’clock that evening I met Shamus at the courthouse that was closing at six. We needed to be back to the hospital by six-forty-five for the press conference. We were limited in time but neither one of us cared as we held hands and walked up the steps.
I wore my old concert t-shirt from TOOL in 2010 that Shame took me to. This was his most favorite shirt of mine. I paired it with my best low rise jeans that hugged every curve and my old navy blueChuck Taylors.Shame dressed in his usual. Cut off camo shorts,Chucksand an oldAloha Househoodie with the bands concert info on the back from one of the many sold out shows they did before making it big. We both showered and got ready and rushed here after procuring the license. We sat in comfortable silence holding hands and waited for them to call our names. We met another couple in line who were fans of TAT and after a few autographs and a quick rundown of the accident, they agreed to be our witnesses, something we had spaced on.
I married Shamus James at five-thirty-three pm pacific standard time on August sixteenth two thousand and thirteen. He cried… and for once I didn’t.
He swore to love honor and protect me and I believe him with every fiber of my being. I swore to never let anyone come before him, and that through sickness and health I would never let my love stray.
“You may now kiss your bride.” The judge said with a smile, our witnesses clapping. Shame looked at me with nothing but love in his eyes. “Can I say something even though we are now officially married?” He asks and I wonder what is up his sleeve.
“Of course.” Says the judge and we all look at Shame.
“Cassa Rae James, I swear to you that I will always love you. Every fucking day until I die.” I gasp at the graceful ‘F’ bomb he drops and he cringes and looks at the judge. “Sorry.”
He just smiles and motions for Shamus to continue. Thank God the fans we asked to witness us didn’t call any paparazzi and that we don’t have a fan base screaming and blowing the whole thing. In this we are lucky. “I also swear that I am gonna give you babies. A shit ton of them and I swear ill make you proud to have me as their dad.”
Aaaaand there went my tears. I almost made it without them, but he knows my one weakness that I can never recover from.“I will adopt as many as we want and give them the world and the love they deserve. I also swear I will bust ass to make our home perfect for them and that I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never regret forgiving me.”
“Shame…” I choke on his name but he just winks and smiles before kissing me senseless.
I wouldn’t be able to not forgive him knowing that he has forgiven me, but cannot say a word because he won’t let me go.
And I wouldn’t let him if he tried.
