Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace
Lifehouse
Chapter Seventeen
Cassa
I sat on my patio and looked out over the night sky. We lived right out ofFactoriabut from the top floor you could see Mercer Island and I loved the view. I had never sat on this patio in the time I had lived here by myself longer than a few minutes…and when I did I was always afraid. Tonight I felt safe and wanted to see what I had missed. I looked at the moon and the surrounding stars. Seattle air was different from the rest of the world. The days were dark and gloomy and pouring rain, but the sky almost always cleared and made room for the moon. I loved that.
I heard a faint knock on the door and I had to actually slow down before tripping over my own feet. I felt high, safe made me feel high and I couldn’t believe the shell I had been living in. But that was the thing about Shamus; he never let me hide, not from him anyway. There were numerous times that he would infuriate me, or someone would upset me, I could never hide from him because he never let me even try. He always read me like a book and I don’t think the two years apart changed that. He made me see myself, in his light through his eyes and everyone else be damned. He made me feel alive.
I opened the door after looking through the peephole. I was happy not stupid. "Hi." I breathed against his neck having flung myself into his arms.
"Hi," he said back, a smile in his voice. He pulled me in close and breathed in the scent of my honeysuckle shampoo. I wanted to fly knowing he still loved me.
"Come with me, I want to show you something." I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the patio. I stepped out and stood with my back to the railing. "I have been sitting back here since I got home. Alone. I just sat here and thought. No fear, no precautions, just came out to sit on my balcony like a normal person Shame."
"That’s great Sassy." He said but his voice sounded sad. I know it’s not a huge deal to stand on a patio, but I really thought he would understand.
"I know it seems silly, but I haven’t come out here alone ever, someone has always been here with me. It felt good. Candey and Noah left about twenty minutes ago and I was out there and was… well I wasn’t going back in. I fought the urge to hide and I just…. relaxed Shame." I chewed my lip, realizing maybe I was being a fool all along. There was no boogie man and I needed to stop crying.
"Hey." Shamus said and took my hand in his to pull me close. "This is huge Sass, don’t think it’s not OK?”
I nodded and sighed when he kissed me. His hands fell to my hips and he pulled me in close. I arched into the kiss and felt that familiar wetness build between my legs. Now it was a simple touch and I was revved up and ready to go. I nuzzled my face into his neck, taking in the scent of Shame andAxeand how the scent had my tummy flip flopping in glee. Wanting and needing more, remembering that he said he, was mine and I could have him anytime I wanted, I bounced on my heels before hopping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. I nuzzled against his collarbone and bit the sensitive skin, making him moan. He slid his hands over my ass and gripping me tighter against him.
"I want you Shame." I moaned breathlessly into his ear before licking back down to his collar bone. Leaning back, pressing my groin against his, I let what I wanted tumble from my lips unashamed. "Take me inside baby.".
Shame didn’t pause or ask if I was sure. I said take me and oh fuck yes, he was. My high from earlier was growing stronger and I used it as momentum. I unwrapped my legs from his waist long enough to stand and press against his chest until he was flat on the bed. I pulled my jeans down and then my panties before climbing on top of him and started on his belt working frantically to free his cock. There I was busy trying to get to his dick and I forgot about the rest of him that was just as remarkable. He leaned up while I was working on his belt, and tugged his shirt over his head, exposing the perfect inked skin of his chest. My God, he was so pretty I could cry. I suddenly wanted to slow down and savor him. He rocked his hips up against mine and I remembered I was wanton and heated and this was my man for the taking. I pressed him back and went with his fusing our mouths together in a heated and wet kiss. I had lost my mind to the need. My teeth were biting at his lips, my lips sucking on his. I could not get enough of him. My desire had come back with a vengeance and I was suddenly making up for two years of no Shamus right God damned now.
I reached though his boxers when his jeans were undone, but not off and I didn’t care. I pulled his cock free, and straddled his hips lining him up against me. Before I could get him inside me, he jackknifed up, grabbing my hips and stopping me.
"Are you wet? I'll tear you Sass." That question was answered by the hot wet center of my body as I sat myself upon him. With a curse Shame slammed his head back against the pillow, his fists tightening on my hips, he pressed up against me harder, forcing me to accept all of him and I did so greedily.
"I am always ready for your cock." I said shocking myself and probably him. I rested my hands behind me on his knees and started moving.
He reached up to cup my neck in his hand and tried to pull me into his mouth. I shook my head no and pulled at his wrist until I could see his fingers. I brought his hand to my mouth and slipped his thumb in my mouth and started sucking.
I had no excuse for the highly sexual mood I was in and I didn’t care because it felt amazing and I couldn’t have stopped if I tried. The tips were callused, but smooth, each finger long and I licked them all. Shamus hissed as my wet tongue danced over his only prized body part next to his cock. He loved his hands and they made him millions and now those hands were on me, in me and the thought had me moaning his name. I leaned back again and took his hand into mine, and then the other lacing our fingers together. I used his arms as leverage as I rode him. I was already at the peak and desperate to come, but I needed his eyes with me. "Look at me baby." He said through gritted teeth and part of me melted at his words. He needed me to watch him just as bad.
I looked at him as I rocked faster, harder, feeling everything with amazing clarity. The ring I wore on my middle finger pinching as he squeezed my fingers, his belt buckle and zipper scraping my flesh as I slid to and fro, but most of all I felt him, his cock deep and desperate to erupt. "Together Sass, come with me."
I untangled my fingers from him and gripped his shoulders, pulling him to me so I could latch my mouth to his. He held me tight with one hand and used his other to brace himself against the bed so he could meet my thrusts while I rode him.
"Now, Shame! I'm coming now." I cried out, but I knew he felt me come apart. He was right there with me, thrusting from beneath, letting go at the same time.
I stayed on top of Shamus trying to catch my breath. It had been fast and raw and it still made me feel safe and cherished. I giggled at the sight of us. I was still in my shirt and bra but naked from the hips down. Shame was the opposite, lying beneath me without his shirt and his jeans undone enough to satisfy my craving for him inside of me.I rolled from his body and on to my back and my giggles turned to laughter."That was unbelievable." I said breathlessly once I had my composure.
"You’re unbelievable." Shamus was looking at me with sadness and love. I thought the sex would have eased his mind, I knew he was hurting and I wanted to hide the pain for a while. I knew better than anyone that I couldn’t take it away, but I could help him forget. Whatever was on his mind had him shaking.
“What is it baby?” I ask, tracing my finger along his brow bone.
"Sass I have to tell you something."
I rolled to my side when I heard the serious tone his voice took on. "What’s up?" I couldn’t hide the fear of just hearing him speak those words. Nothing good would ever come from ‘I have to tell you something.’
