And then I saw him.
Kaseem was standing at the altar in a white tuxedo with silver accents. Next to him was Namier in a tailored suit that matched. Across from them were Nyla and River in silver dresses that caught the light. My girls looked beautiful, and my husband looked fine as hell.
Everyone turned to look at me when I started walking down the path.
Kaseem's eyes went wide.
He adjusted his suit, ran his hand down his chest, and when he saw me fully, a smile spread across his face that I'd never seen before. Raw. Real. Like he couldn't believe I was actually walking toward him.
The photographer was capturing everything - the walk, the sunset behind me, the way people were looking at us like they were witnessing something important. The fact that Kaseem had even hired him, that made me smile. He cared about capturing the moment.
When I reached him, he came down the three steps and reached for me. I took his hand and let him guide me up, my bouquet inmy other hand, my heart beating so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest.
He leaned close so only I could hear.
"Damn, my wife looks good as hell," he whispered, and even though it was crude and simple, it made me smile because it was so completely him.
The officiant was an older man with kind eyes. He started reading the ceremony - the words about love and commitment and partnership. Then he asked us both if we took each other to be husband and wife.
"I do," I said, and my voice was steady. This was the one thing that I didn’t even need to think twice about. Had you asked me this weeks ago, that would have been a different story.
Kaseem opened his mouth to say his "I do" but then he stopped.
"Wait," he said. "Let me say this."
He turned to face me fully, still holding my hand, and I could see something in his eyes that made my chest tight.
"Tattiana, I've always been the nigga to believe that everything happens for a reason," he said, his voice steady and real. "And I know that's true for why you came into my life. In this short amount of time you're teaching me how to care about someone other than myself. I won't lie, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing as a husband, but every day, I'm willing to wake up and try."
People were quiet. Even the string quartet seemed to have softened their playing.
"I know life been dealing you a fucked up hand," he continued, and I felt tears start to form. "But I hope you can trust me enough to lay everything on me and let me handle it. I know I may fall short, but all I ask is that you correct a nigga and give me a chance to get it right. I'm all in, and I need you to know that. I want this shit bad as I’ve ever wanted anything and I’m ready to show you that." He spoke and Namier looked down, shaking his head in disbelief with a light smirk on his face.
He wasn't finished but I couldn't wait another second.
I kissed him.
Not soft. Not gentle. Deep and real and like I was trying to show him everything I was feeling that I didn't have words for.
He grabbed my face and kissed me back just as hard, and for a moment it was just us in that garden.
The officiant laughed, a deep laugh that broke the tension and made everyone else laugh too.
"Well," he said, shaking his head, "there you have it. You may kiss the bride." He said sarcastically.
"You know I had to do that," Kaseem said without breaking his smile, and the whole garden erupted in cheers.
We held hands and walked back through the garden together. My friends were crying - actual tears running down their faces. Kaseem squeezed my hand one more time before he went off to talk to Namier, giving me time with my girls.
Nyla immediately tried to grab Namier's arm to speak with him, her face lighting up like she wanted to share this moment with him.
He shook her off.
"I'm good," he said, and something in his voice made it clear that wasn't an invitation for conversation.
Nyla's face fell and she stepped back like he'd physically pushed her away.
I pulled her close before she could spiral.
