“You’ve been quiet since we got back. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
Without meaning to, I shrug him off and instantly regret it.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, worry in his tone.
“Nothing.” I huff.
“Is this about what Bane said at the store?” I carry on chopping the lettuce and shrug. “Bane’s a prick. Don’t let him get in your head. Who cares what he thinks?”
I slam the knife down on the wooden board and turn to face Noah. “But it won’t just be him, will it? It was also Kara. Who’ll be next?” I shout,
“Does it matter what he or anyone thinks?” I chew the inside of my cheek and look down at the floor. “Tori.” His tone is firm, and my fight or flight response kicks in.
“Don’t let people who love nothing more than a bit of town gossip ruin this.” He gestures between us.
This? But what even is this?
He cages me in and tries to get me to look at him, but the beat of my heart thunders in my ears, and I need to get out of this kitchen.
“I need to go,” I declare and head for the back door, needing some air to catch my breath. Noah is hot on my heels and follows me to the backyard.
“Are you running again? You’re getting pretty good at that,” he calls out as he chases me. I spin on my heel and face him.
“Noah, please don’t,” I beg, feeling like I’m fighting with my racing thoughts and the need for my next breath.
“Don’t what, Tori? Say it how it is? That when shit gets hard, you run.” His words feel like a slap to the face, and I flinch.
“That’s not what I’m doing,” I say, my lip quivering.
“Then what are you doing?” His eyes are wild, and I can see the pain I’m causing.
“I don’t know, Noah, I’m just…”
“What Tori, what?” he yells, nostril flared, and I want to fold into him and get him to erase the past few hours, but there’s no avoiding this conversation now. Not if I want this to work. It needs to happen; we have been running from it for too long.
“Scared. I’m scared,” I scream, throwing my hands up in the air.
“Of what?”
“Everything,” I say on an exhale. “Of how I feel, what people think, I—”
He cuts me off with words that slice me in ways I never expected. “I’m never going to be enough for you, am I?” He sounds defeated, and I have never hated myself more than in this moment. Knowing I’ve made this man think he wasn’t enough for me.
“Noah, you’re everything, I just…” I reach for him, but he takes a step back, holding his hands up in surrender.
“I can’t keep doing this, this back and forth. It’s breaking me,” he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. “When I let you go the first time, it hurt like hell. But I did it, because I thought it’s what you wanted, what you needed to move on and find yourself again.”
Tears fall down my cheeks as his words strike a chord inside of me.
“I thought if I gave you space, you would figure out what you wanted, that maybe it was me who you wanted, but you still don’t know, do you?”
I take a step forward, bracing myself for his rejection, but he doesn’t move. He allows me to enter his personal space, and I swallow the thick lump in my throat, deciding it’s now or never.
“I do know what I want,” I say as confidently as I can muster.
“Then what. What do you want, Tor? Because I could easily tell you what I want.”
Come on, Tori, tell him.
