He turns on his heel, and I think he’s about to head back inside the house. I begin to follow but then he turns again, pacing towards me with a fire in his eyes and the pain I’ve caused himetched all over his face. My stomach sinks, and the threat of tears burns my eyes.
“Since the moment you walked into that bar, I wanted you, and it crushed me to learn you were tied up with Scotty. I buried those feelings so deep into my fucking soul I thought I’d never have a chance to explore them, and I haven’t been able to look at anyone the way I look at you. But then we lost him, and we grew closer, and all those feelings crawled out of that box. It fucked with my head, because I don’t think you have ever wanted me the same way I want you. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to want someone who is still in love with the ghost of someone else?”
I shake my head as his words seep into my veins and embed in my soul.
I step closer, so now we are chest to chest, “You’ve got it all wrong.”
“Then enlighten me, Tori,” he says on a ragged breath.
“I do…” I stop and swallow. “I did love him, Trent… But not like I love you.”
Shock flickers across his face, “You love me?”
I nod. “Yes, I have loved you for longer than I think I’ve realized, and I feel guilty for saying this, but I wish I had met you first. I feel guilty for loving you differently from how I loved him. I thought he was it, my one, and then I met you. You know me in ways that no one else ever has. You know what I need before I need it. You changed everything.”
I fist the fabric of his tee.
“So, ask me again, Noah. Ask me what I want.”
He cradles my face in his hands, brushing his thumbs along my trembling jaw. “What do you want, Tor?”
I lean into his touch, covering his hands with mine. “You, just you.”
His lips crash down on mine in a bruising kiss, and I whimper.
“You have no fucking idea how long I’ve waited for you to choose me.”
In a moment of raw honesty, I admit my biggest fear, because if we are going to do this, then we need to lay all our cards out on the table. “But I’m so scared to love you, Noah. I can’t live that life again. It nearly cost me my own. If I lost you,” My voice cracks, and he pulls me closer.
“You’re not going to lose me, I promise you,” he tries to reassure, but he can’t.
“You can’t promise me that.”
“Then have faith that I’ll never leave you. Wherever I go, I’ll always find my way back to you.”
My chest tightens, like taking another breath is impossible. The thought of losing him is too much for me to comprehend.
“I want to, but I’m so scared,” I confess, our mouths just inches apart.
“Then I’ll quit.”
I pull back to look at him. “What?”
“I’ll leave special forces, leave this town. We’ll go wherever you want to go. You’re the reason I want to stop running, so please let me be the reason you want to stay.”
“Noah, I can’t ask you to give that all up for me.”
“You’re not. I want to. Tori, the only reason I didn’t leave when the guys did was because I couldn’t get over you. I had to keep away, keep moving, because when I stopped all I could think about was you.”
I wrap my arms around his waist and cling to him, like he might run away. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”
“If everything we’ve been through meant it led to this, I’d fight in every war just to get to you. I’d do it all over again and then give it all up if it meant I got to have you at the end. I love you, Tori. Always have, always will.”
He loves me, he’s always loved me.
“I love you too,” I say on a gasp, and then he kisses me, stealing my breath and tearing the last shred of my fear.
When he pulls away, he asks, “So, we are doing this, you and me?” I nod, with a smile so wide it feels like my face might crack. “Yes, we’re doing this.”
