“I know what it feels like to love someone, to want to be with them, and you can’t have them because the timing isn’t right, or there are too many things keeping you apart, and it’s painful, but you will find a way to cope. But, if there were ever a chance for you two, do you think you are the best version of yourself right now? Right now, are you the man she needs?”
I shake my head, letting his words sink in. He’s right. Tori deserves better than this. I deserve better than this version of myself.
“So, who are you in love with then?” I probe him, needing to take the heat off me for a second.
“That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is getting you some help. You need to figure out what you are going to do. Maybe it’s time to leave. Come to Miami with me. We plan to move the business back to New York next year. You’d be near Ria again.”
I shift uncomfortably. “I, I’m not ready,” I say firmly.
“Okay, then you need to figure out what your next move is, because this needs to stop.”
He’s right. I have been in self-destruction mode since Tori walked out of my life, and if I don’t stop now, I’ll be in a grave right beside Scotty.
“Will you stay for a bit and help me?” I say weakly, needing someone to take some of the burden away.
He stands and adjusts his jeans before reaching out his hand. “I’m not going anywhere, brother.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tori
Five years later.
“… And for those reasons, we believe that Walker security systems would be the perfect fit for your new company. Thank you for your time today.”
The men around the table clap, and I take my seat at the top of the large meeting room table beside my colleague, Anthony.
Life looks very different for me now. After that night with Noah, I knew I needed to get away. I realized I wasn’t living; I was surviving. I was counting down the days until my next visit with Noah, where I got a light relief from the pain and anxiety Iwas constantly feeling. He took it all away. He was my safety net, always catching me, always saving me, and that was too much weight to expect one person to carry. I owed it to him, to Trent, and to myself to truly heal, and I think I am as healed as I’ll ever be.
I moved to London to help run my dad’s office here, and I haven’t set foot on American soil since. Moving out of America and across the pond by myself was the scariest thing I have ever done, but growth and healing don’t happen when we are comfortable. It happens in the uncomfortable, messy, upsetting moments, when we choose to fight and choose to push through the hard moments. Sure, there are days when it sneaks up on me more than others, but I remember what Noah said. Live a full life, one so great that when I get to see Trent again, I can tell him all about it. I’m living for him, for our baby that was sadly never meant to be, and for myself.
I miss Noah desperately. We exchanged a few letters over the years. He transferred across to the special forces and seems to enjoy it. I haven’t seen him since that morning when I walked away. I knew it was the right thing to do, even though it was painful. But sometimes the things that are good for us hurt the most.
“We need some time to discuss, but I think we can say with confidence that we will be working with your company.” The old, gray-haired gentleman with small, round glasses holds out a hand for me to shake, and I take it before Anthony, and I pack up our presentation and head out to our cars.
“I think that went well,” Antony confirms, and I nod in agreement.
“Do you fancy getting a celebratory drink with me?” I give him a small smile. Anthony is a nice guy, the cliché: tall, dark, and handsome, with a swoony British accent. He’s asked me out approximately twelve times, and I decline every time because, asmuch as I have healed and I am in the best place I have been in years, I’m not ready to date, and if I were being really honest with myself, it’s because he’s not Noah.
I don’t think I’ll ever be over Noah Jones, and maybe in another life we would have been the perfect couple, but sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.
“Thanks, but I can’t. I have my brother and his girlfriend staying with me, and I am hosting a charity gala next weekend, and I have a ton of things to sort.”
Harry has been staying with me on and off since I moved here. He says it’s because they are opening up a new club here, which is true, but I know he could do a lot of it stateside. He wants to make sure I am okay, and honestly, I am grateful for the company. This time he came with Ali. He says they are friends, and she’s here for work, but I know my brother. I’ve never seen him act like this around a woman.
“Maybe another time,” he says with a wink.
“Maybe,” I say as I open my car door, and give him a small wave before I climb into my black Range Rover.
I crank the car stereo and make the drive to my waterfront apartment, or flat as the British call it, in Canary Wharf. I love London. I love the people, the buildings, the hustle and bustle of it all. It keeps my mind busy.
I enter my apartment and kick off my heels, feeling instant relief when my bare feet flatten against the cool tiled floor of my entryway.
“Hello. Anyone home?” I am met with silence. I head to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of rosé, feeling instantly relaxed from my busy day as the crisp, cold liquid hits my tongue and I swallow it down. I untuck my white blouse from my pencil skirt, find a rogue claw clip on the kitchen counter, and twist my hair up, then pick up my phone to FaceTime my friend, Meg.
She answers on the first ring.
“Hey, babe, how did your meeting go?” She sounds a little breathless. I narrow my eyes to focus on the screen.
