Always such a gentleman, Noah Jones.
I’d like to do some very ungentlemanly things to you, Tori Walker is what I want to say. But I stop myself. Jesus, what is wrong with me? I think back to the last time I hooked up with a girl, and it hits me: it was before we lost Scotty.
Nearly two years? I haven’t gone this long without sex since I lost my virginity in high school. Fuck, no wonder I can’t function properly. This can’t be good for my health. I haven’t been short of women to sleep with, but there’s no one I’ve wanted. The one woman I want, I can’t have.
Noah
Let’s say it at the same time. Reveal after one?
Tori
Okay.
With nervous hands, I begin typing.
Noah
Three…
Tori
Two…
I smile down at my lit screen, remembering the way we counted down like this before we jumped off the cliff, knowing I need just a few seconds before I type my truth.
Noah
One…
I suck in a deep breath and type out the three letters and hit send through squinted eyes. At the exact same time, her text flashes on the screen, and I still as I stare at her reply.
Noah
YOU
Tori
YOU
My heart races as I reread the three letters that light up the screen. For years, I have longed to hear her say that she wanted me, that all she could think about was me. But what if I’m wrong? What if she means she’s thinking of me as a friend? People think of their friends, right? But what if it is more? What if she wants me in the same way I want her?
I rub a hand across my stubbled jaw, trying to make sense of it and pluck up the courage to ask her what she means. I want to push the conversation further, but how far is too far?
I stare at the screen, like the unspoken words I am desperate to say will magically write themselves when I see three dots flash up once again.
Tori
Please say something. Or maybe you fell asleep?
I type back a quick reply.
Noah
I’m still here.
I anxiously twist the chain of my dog tags that hang around my neck.
Tori
