Axel gestured to the bottle in Castello’s hand, “Want another one?”
“Sure.”
Grabbing two bears from the fridge, Axel sat on the other side of the couch, tucking one foot in under his ass, he sat facing Castello. “Tell me what you mean?” This attraction sparking between them was starting to make him just a little bit crazy.
“Why me?” Castello asked, “Why do you want to be with me?”
Axel spluttered his beer, before managing to swallow it without choking himself, “Why not you?” Picking at the label on the beer bottle, he refused to look at Castello.
“I’m just an old warrior who doesn’t know how to be anything but a soldier.” Castello told him, “I fucked up being a father, I’ve pretty much screwed up everything I have touched, including war.” He closed his eyes,
“I’m the last person you should want to be with.”
“Everyone fucks up at some point,” Axel lifted one shoulder, even though he knew Castello couldn’t see through his closed eyelids. “You can’t have fucked up too much if your son calls you a couple of times a week, and texts you stupid jokes just to make you laugh.”
“The texts are habit,” Castello snorted. “Before there were video calls and all that shit, all we had was text messages and the occasional voice call. It was how we stayed in touch while I was deployed.”
“Oh.” Argh, this back and forth was making Axel crazy. He had to know, “Cas?”
“Uh—huh?”
“Have you thought about— Do you—?” Axel stumbled over the words and had to clear his throat to continue, “Want to keep seeing where this goes?”
Castello blew out a breath,decide—tell him.“Yeah,” Castello opened his eyes and turned to look at Axel. He wanted to see the man’s reactions.
Needed to know he wasn’t making a fool out of himself.
“You keep this side of you hidden?” Axel didn’t get it, couldn’t figure out why the hell Castello was blowing hot and cold all the time. What was the big problem? They were all adults here, right?
Jeez, ask an easy question why don’t ya?“I’ve been military most of my life, I served under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” He shrugged as if that explained a lot, and it did. “When you are out there getting shot at, it makes you view things a lot differently.” Castello tried to explain what being part of the military at that time had been like. “Your team, your family, they become the only ones that matter.” Could he do this? Admit it?Bull by the horns, soldier,tell the man he’s hot as fuck and you want to keep him in your life.Jeez, who would have thought vulnerable was something he could be, but he felt it now, even though, somehow, baring his soul to Axel wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be. Castello pushed onward, grateful that while Axel watched him, that he wasn’t pushing for more. “I don’t want to be seventy or
eighty years old and sayin’ I should have chased that dream. I stuffed a part of my soul into a box and buried it under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. There hasn’t been anyone who has made me want to unlock that box and live that dream more than you.”
Wow—just wow!
A blast of satisfaction pushed the jumbled-up mess of mixed up feelings clear out of Axel’s brain. He wanted to kiss Castello, touch him. God how he wanted to. But was now the right time? Damn it. Gah, he totally sucked at reading people.
Castello shifted on the couch, leaned forward, his mouth hovering over Axel’s for way too long before he finally pressed their lips together.
Oh, thank fuck, he made the first move.
Axel let out a tiny sound with his breath. Whimper or sigh, it didn’t matter which it was. He was too busy getting wrapped up in Castello Moran kissing him until they both were breathing short, panting breaths while trying not to end the kiss from the need for air. Castello’s hands came up to cup Axel’s face, tilting his head back so he could kiss him deeper. Axel’s own hands slid up Castello’s forearms to cover his hands with his own; linking their fingers together on the side of his head, Castello’s thumbs stroking the underside of Axel’s jaw. When Castello had to pull away from the kiss to catch his own breath, Axel made a sound of frustrated disappointment.
“I should go.” Castello groaned softly, low in his throat.
No, don’t go.
“Don’t go.”
“I don’t want to,” Castello admitted, “But you have just gotten your sister back, you have family shit to sort out.” Castello knew he would never have enough of this man. Kissing him had shown him that every other kiss he’d had in his lifetime had never been right because they had been with the wrong person. Man or woman, it didn’t matter which, those kisses had not been with his person. It was official—he was fucked—well and truly fucked.
Castello pressed a soft kiss to Axel’s forehead, then pulled back to stand up. “I—uh.” He scrubbed his hand over his head, “Yeah.” He grabbed the phone then, turning, he headed to the bedroom he and Axel had shared for the last couple of days to find his jeans. Zipping them over his aching dick hurt.
Grabbing his handgun, he stuffed it down the back of his waistband, he didn’t need a holster to go to the room the guys were staying in. By the time he was done, Axel had disappeared. Castello covered his mouth with his hand,
pinching his nose in frustration. Damn it, he didn’t want to go. But he refused to do what he wanted just because he wanted it. Nope, the phone numbers with no names attached in his cell were a stark reminder that fucking up had a price. In this instance, that price was just too damn high. He carefully opened the door to the room the guys had and slipped inside.
“You are an idiot.”
