“She is.” Castello rubbed his cheek on Axel’s hair. “She’s gotta process it.”
“Was she—?”
“Raped?”
“Yeah.” Damn it, he had never had a problem saying raped before. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“No,” Castello replied. “She asked for a couple of days before she has to talk about it. Once she does, she never wants to speak of it again.”
“Um,” Axel frowned, “How’s that gonna work with the DEA?”
“Fuck knows.” Castello didn’t even want to think about how the shit show Krystal had told them about would be resolved.
Two undercover jobs where she was sent in to seduce a crime lord’s son.
Both times ending up pregnant and running. The fact that one of her sons was the heir to the Diamond mob and his little brother the heir to El Mencho’s Cartel, that had clusterfuck of epic proportions written all over it. His job here was over, the intel provided by Krystal meant his Boss wanted the two men he had been after left in place for a period of time before they picked them up. Castello didn’t know what his Bosses or the DEA hoped to achieve by that, but it wasn’t his place to question it.
“Sleep with me?”
“You want to fuck now?” Axel pulled back. “Jeez, I have a headache.”
he muttered.
“No,” Castello used his fingers to tip Axel’s chin back. Pressing a soft kiss there, the asshole inside of him gave a smug, satisfied internal fist-bump when Axel’s hands went to Castello’s waist, his fingers stroking the soft skin there. “I mean to sleep, sleep.”
“Hmmh,” Axel tilted his head more so he could return the kiss,
“Snuggle, fuck?”
“Yeah, snuggle then fuck.”
“M’kay.” Axel kicked off his boots again and climbed into bed. “Come on then.” He didn’t know if he would sleep, but Castello asking him to snuggle? Yeah, that he could happily do.
***
Castello stumbled into the kitchen. It was so fucking weird not to have Balas blocking his way to the fridge. He liked the routine shit he and the other Ambras had going on at his own house in California or at Axel’s house in Florida. Here in Rock’s safe house, Balas slept with Rafe and the guys.
Scratching his balls through the material of his tight boxers, he opened the fridge and snagged a beer from the six pack, his jaw cracking as he yawned.
He twisted the top off and took a sip from the bottle, then headed to the living space and the couch to sink into the cushions. Castello propped one foot on the coffee table, and hit the button on the remote, flipping through the channels until he found a news channel. What the ever-living fuck was he doing? He was a damn idiot. Knew better than to want more than he should.
But the longer he was around Axel, the more his soul wanted him to stay
right the fuck here.
Do not forget what you have done.
Damn voices in his head wouldn’t leave him alone. It wasn’t enough that they taunted him in his nightmares, but now they were trying to call the damn shots while he was awake too. Castello had learned a long time ago that remaining calm in the crazy-assed situation that was war was vital to surviving sustained combat over multiple years and too many deployments to count. So why the fuck was he struggling now with the war that waged between what he wanted and what the stupid voices in his head told him he deserved. For the first time in his life he was fighting an enemy he didn’t know how to fight.
Castello looked at the satellite phone he had brought with him from the bedroom, clicking through the screens until he brought up his contact list. His thumb moving on the screen, he scrolled through the names until he found the ones he wanted. Numbers he would never call again.D.F.T.LThere might not be names attached to the letters, but they belonged to men. Dead men.
Delta Force Team Lynx brothers who never made it home, because he had been an asshole who insisted he was right. He’d made the call. And regretted it ever since. Taking another sip of his beer, Castello swallowed it down, then snorted. Some might call serving the flag and the United States as sacrifice.
Hell yes, they were right in a way. But to Castello, serving had never been a sacrifice, not until he lost some of his team. For him, it had always been a choice. The choice to serve his country was an easy one to make over the choice to remain stateside in a relationship with a woman who had trapped him into marriage. “Bah.” Castello tossed his cell on the coffee table, “I’m an idiot.”
“Why?”
Shit how long has he been there?Castello kept his head resting against the back of the couch, just turning it enough to see Axel out of the corner of his eye. “I’m an idiot for wanting something I shouldn’t.”
