The way he fucks me like he can’t get enough ... so attuned to my every response, like there’s nothing else that matters.
I’ve never had pleasure like this.
Never been so taken care of ... so savored, and so desired.
And as we move together, he murmurs in my ear, “Promise me. Promise me this isn’t all. Promise me that I’ll get to see you again ...”
I meet his eyes. “I promise,” I whisper.
When we climax, we cling together, kissing, clutching, desperate to hold on.
I have no idea how I’ll keep that promise.
I just know that he needs to hear it. And I do, too.
Deep in the night, I wake up in Mason’s bed. He lies on his back, his head tipped away on the pillow, his chest rising and falling in sleep. The sheet is draped over our hips as the ceiling fan loops above.
His hand rests on my thigh.
I lie there for a long while, listening to him breathe, memories of all the moments we’ve shared playing in my head on a torturous loop.
Then I slide out from under his hand, gather my clothes, and slip out.
I walk the secret path back to my cottage, trying to savor every moment. Drawing the fresh night air into my lungs. Memorizing the curves of the trees, the flutter of the leaves, the pretty, haunting shapes they make against the night sky.
I collect my bags from the cottage, get into my van, and leave Orchard Cove.
I can barely breathe, my chest is so tight. I’m aching to spill all my feelings to Mason. But I know it’s way too little, too late.
Because that old fear of mine has come back to haunt me.
He didn’t choose me.
He didn’t put me first.
Mason never once asked me to stay, to be his.
He never even wanted to try.
He was a bachelor when I met him, a playboy, and nothing has changed.
I hear Sophie telling me,You deserve to be happy.
And a lot of things June said are loud in my head.
So, I’m making my own choice. To not repeat the mistake I’ve made in the past by chasing him, trying to fix him. And contorting myself to try to fit somewhere I’m not even wanted. Not really.
Promise me that I get to see you againjust isn’t enough.
So I’ve made my choice.
It’s a choice I never would’ve made in the past.
But this is long overdue.
It’s time I put myself first.
Chapter 22
