“I told youwhy.”
“The MC.” I got up to leave, feeling sick to death of all the fucking boys’ clubbullshit.
The band. Now the motorcycleclub.
The guys had all told me, in their own way, on some crazy night on tour or another when the shit had hit the fan and I’d had a meltdown on their asses, that women were insane. And maybe they were right. I was definitely capable of temporaryinsanity.
But men… men were fucking ridiculous.Stubborn.
Bull-headed asfuck.
“If you won’t talk to me,” I told him, as calmly as I could, “then I’m going to Jesse. What do you think he’s gonna say when he finds out you’re hiding shit about Seth, and maybe about Jessa, too, because of your bullshit loyalty to your motorcycleclub?”
“Elle.” Jude grabbed me, his giant hand tight on my forearm, and pulled me aside, into a dark hallway behind the bar. Flynn, my ever-vigilant bodyguard, of course, didn’t follow; Jude was Flynn’s boss. When we were alone, he said, “You do not wanna go talking like that inhere.”
“Is that athreat?”
“It’s awarning.”
“Let go of me.” My heart was racing. I wasn’t scared of Jude, but all this shit about his biker club was starting to freak me out. I felt extra vulnerable, maybe, with this sudden, unexpected knowledge that I was very possibly pregnant, and I didn’t like feeling thisway.
I wanted to get the fuck out ofhere.
“You’re a smart woman, Elle,” Jude said. “Don’t get stupid.” He released my arm, gently. Then he sighed, looking deeply irritated with me, and maybe a little regretful. “And you’re right. Seth wasn’t exactly kicked out of the band because of his addiction. He was, and he wasn’t. All I can tell you beyond that is that the situation was not entirely what Jessa thought or what Brody and Jessethink.”
He wouldn’t tell me any more—but it wasenough.
Enough for me to hold onto; proof that I was right aboutSeth.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice soft and grateful, and Jude nodded. I could see that he felt kinda sorry for me, and it was obviouswhy.
They all thought they knew Seth… but I knew thetruth.
I knew hisheart.
And Jude knew it,too.
He was right; Seth was one of the goodones.
He always hadbeen.
* * *
Seth metme at my place, later that night. When I opened the door to him, just past midnight, I took one look at his face and I knew I didn’t have to tell him what had happened at thechurch.
He alreadyknew.
Maybe Zane or Jude or Dylan had told him. I didn’tknow.
It hardlymattered.
I still felt sick about it all. Sick about my conversation with Jude. Or maybe it was just the morning sickness that had lasted all fucking day, still coming on in crippling waves ofnausea.
I did not want to talk about it—about any of it. I just needed to feel close toSeth.
I took him by the hand and led him upstairs, to mybed.
“Elle…” he said once, twice, trying to talk to me, but I kissed him, undressing him as I sucked suggestively on his mouth, on his tongue, until he gavein.
