What the fuck did cupid have to do with any of this?
I kept checking my phone, but Courteney hadn’t messaged me yet today. Come to think of it, she’d gone silent sometime yesterday morning.
Stopped calling. Stopped texting.
And I really wanted her to keep calling, even if I wasn’t gonna answer.
Christ.What a fucking shit show.
I wanted to know how she was doing. I did.
I fucking cared.
A lot more than I fucking wanted to right now.
But I didn’t message her.
Just like when she was sixteen and I left town with Steel Trap… I left her the fuck alone, because it was the right thing to do.
Something told me, just like it did then, that she’d be alright. She’d be better off without me.
She’d be way the fuck better than I was doing.
Maybe because she didn’t just get fucked up the ass by cupid or whatever.
I spent the rest of the day making a vortex playlist. Ash had sent over his, along with Summer’s, Matt’s and even Danica’s. I was fucking annoyed everyone else in my new band—and even my lead singer’s girlfriend—had made one for each other and I wasn’t asked to play along.
Well, fuck them.
I made one, and I sent it to all those fuckers.
The goddamn Players.
They’d better be planning to loop me in on this shit in the future.
Summer was the first to respond, like five minutes after I sent it out.
Summer:Jesus I’m an asshole. I should’ve asked you for this long ago.
Summer:You’re an angel Xan.
Wasn’t sure how to take that, but at least I felt a little less pissed off.
Then I lay on my couch, awake, well into the fucking night, in front of the TV. Trying to convince myself that maybe I could actually pull this off.
Leave Courteney alone.
I could just let her go. My terms were fucking only, and she wasn’t down with that. She’d made that clear.
Well, too bad.
Fucking was all I had to offer. And if fucking her was gonna make me lose my best friend…
… my brother hasn’t really been my brother since I was fourteen years old.
Fuck. She was right about that.
Cary hadn’t really been my best friend since then, either.
