Zane Traynor was as hot asever.
Hotter.
Was thatpossible…?
Was it possible that I was even more attracted to him when he wasn’t coming on to me all thetime?
I’d been through something like this with Zane once before, seven years ago. After I’d first come to work with Dirty and he first got sober. But even then, when he came back from rehab and was working through his recovery, he never stopped trying to get in mypants.
Never.
And he never really stopped smokingup.
This time, he hadn’t even tried to touch me or flirt with me. Not since the shit hit the fan inVegas.
But he didn’t seem angry, either. He wasn’t acting distant or cold ormean.
He was definitely a little moody. He seemed anxious, twitchy and restless offstage. And he seemed anxious around me, forsure.
I knew it was to be expected. I’d talked to Seth a bit about marijuana withdrawal, what he knew about it, and I’d read up on it abit.
Offstage, Zane was showing most of the signs that could be expected of someone who’d just stopped smoking, cold-turkey.
But he also seemed happy. I’d never thought of Zane as an unhappy person, until I saw him so happy right now, onstage… Though maybe happy wasn’t even the rightword?
Awake,maybe.
Focused.
Present.
He seemed fully present, and it was amazing to bearound.
He was vibrant up on that stage. And when he came off, he was glowing. He seemed calm, and not because a fat joint was waiting to help him getthere.
His blue eyes met mine, and he walked over to me. He pulled me in for a steaming hug; he was literally dripping with sweat. His clothes were soaked. He smelled like himself times a hundred, pheromones and sex god mixed with the musk ofsweat.
I hugged himback.
And before I could tell himYou were amazing out there tonight, he said in my ear, “You look so pretty, Maggie.” Then he released me and he was gone, headed off to his dressing room with Shady… without even trying to gropeme.
It was so entirely new anddifferent.
And I likedit.
* * *
After the showin Salt Lake, theHell & Backtour continued to roll smoothlyalong.
Night after night, Zane was incredible onstage. The whole band was incredible, and the way everyone pulled together to support Zane… it almost brought me to tears. I got choked up sometimes, just watching Dirtyperform.
But I kept the tears tomyself.
“Somewhere” had been released as the second single off theTo Hell & Backalbum, and had quickly joined the “To Hell & Back” single at the top of the charts. The video for “Somewhere” was gorgeous, moving, and deceptively simple—like the song itself—featuring the members of Dirty playing the song out in thedesert.
Concert footage would be filmed at our two upcoming shows in Chicago for the “Blackout” video, which would be the nextsingle.
Things were going so well with this album and tour so far, actually, that it was exceeding all our wildest dreams. Brody and I were hopeful that this album, overall, would be Dirty’s second most successful album of all time in terms of sales and the charts; second only toLove Struck, Dirty’sdebut.
