He looked up at me. “And if I don’t tellthemshit?”
I softened a little, looking down at him. “I don’t think you understand. I’m telling them, too. I’m just giving you a chance to give them your sideofit.”
* * *
When I pulledinto Maggie’s driveway, she came outside to meet me, her face scrunched with concern. Maybe I’d scared her with my callforhelp.
“I fucked up, Maggie,” I’d told her, as soon as I got her on thephone.
“What doyoumean?”
“I mean… I’m in love withBrody.”
“Inlove?”
“Yeah. Like… hard. And for a long,longtime.”
I’d left the cafe with a killer urge to run. I could easily envision myself driving straight to the airport, getting on a plane, and never coming back. It was itching under my skin, twitching at the back of my brain. Like I was jonesing for it.Escape.
Easy. Sofuckingeasy.
And so fuckingwrong.
I resisted that urge, because I knew it was wrong. My time for running was done. If I kept running, I was going to die running one day. It might not be tomorrow, but some day… I would die alone, stillrunning.
So instead, I practically fell into Maggie’s arms. For someone so petite, Maggie gave agreathug.
When she drew back, she looked up into my eyes, my watery, tear-pricked eyes, and asked, “Are you okay?” Then she frowned before I could answer and added, “Do I need to kickhisass?”
“No.” I laughed and wiped the tears away before they fell. “But I love you for asking. I know you and Brody are tight. Thank you for not takinghisside.”
“His side?” she said. “Oh, no. No, no. We girls stick together. And Brody and I are not that tight. Yes, we work together. And yes, perhaps he’s slightly more in touch with his emotions and has his bullshit slightly more under wraps thansomemen I know,” she said, no doubt thinking of her “husband” as she said it, “but he’s still a guy. And you’re you.” She made a sweeping gesture to indicate my entire being. “I’ve known you for years, Jessa Mayes, and you are lovely, inside and out. Brody may be hot and smart and generally level-headed, but he’s still a dude. And since he put that look on your face, I’m thinking he probably fucked up hissharetoo.”
Then she pulled me inside her cozy little condo and put on a kettlefortea.
“What happened?” she asked as she looked over at me, cuddled into her beanbag chair with my knees pulled up undermychin.
“Nothing, really. That’s the problem. Brody told me he loved me when we were kids, and I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t really feel worthy of his love. So Iranaway.”
“Andthenwhat?”
“And then I just keptrunning.”
She came to sit next to me, on the floor. “And now? What’sgoingon?”
I sighed. “I feel like my heart is going to explode every time we get naked together.” Maggie’s eyebrows went up. “Other times… it’s like we want to tear each otherapart.”
Now her lips quirked as she fought off a smile. “Well,shit.”
I tried to smile a little too. “So maybethere’shope?”
Maggie shook her head, considering. “I’ll be honest, hon… I’m not sure that means there’s hope, but it sure as hell isn’t a bad thing. I mean… if things are that intense between you, there’s a reason,right?”
“Yeah.” I hugged my knees tight as she went to pour the tea. “He says I broke his heart, Maggie. He thinks I didn’t want him, back then. That I ran away from him. But I totallydidn’t.”
Maggie took that in. She came back over, handing me a mug and settling on the floor, cross-legged. “Well, it’s obvious you’re over the moon for him now. He’d have to be blind to miss it. Like hearts and rainbows shoot out of your eyes every time you say his name. It’s sickening,actually.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re all married and bored,” Iteased.
