He got a big, shit-eating Viking grin on his face and tipped his head back, laughing that big, cocky laugh of his, showing me all his perfect white teeth. He still had one hand on my lower back, holding me to him, and his other hand was on my ass before I knew it. Then he kissed me on the cheek and said, “Anytime, Jesse’s girl.”
He let me go and I scrambled over to Jesse, who wrapped me in his arm and tucked me into his side, still talking to some guy. He hadn’t even noticed the exchange between Zane and I, and I didn’t particularly want him to.
I had no warm, gushy or conflicted feelings for Zane, and while he was gorgeous to look at, I wasn’t attracted to him. I thought he was fucking cool, and as Jesse’s friend and bandmate I would’ve liked to be able to call him a friend. But the truth was I didn’t really know the guy, and the way he looked at me confused the shit out of me. I didn’t think he actually wanted me. I was pretty sure he was just fucking with me to amuse his giant ego, which probably rivaled Jesse’s for all-time Rock and Roll Hall of Fame giant egos.
It was a wonder the two of them ever fit on the same stage together.
We said our goodbyes, and while I got my goodbye hugs from pretty much everyoneexceptElle, Jesse had a few words with her, which I was glad to see didnotend with a lingering groin-to-groin hug complete with ass squeeze.
But on the way back to the hotel, I decided to bring it up.
Jude was driving us but Jesse was with me in the backseat, and there was music on loud enough that I was pretty sure we wouldn’t be overheard.
“Did you tell Elle about us?” I was leaning into Jesse’s side and his arm was around me. When he didn’t answer right away, I tipped my head back to look up at him.
He didn’t look like he’d heard me. His gaze was unfocused, directed out the window. When I elbowed his ribs, lightly, his dark eyes snapped to mine.
“Huh? What about us?”
“I don’t know. What did you tell her?”
“Nothing,” he said. “She didn’t ask. I didn’t bring it up.”
I turned away, but he caught my chin and turned my face back to his.
“She knows we’re together. We’re not exactly hiding it.”
That was true. There were images of Jesse and I all over the place, and the only thing that made me feel okay rather than totally nauseous about that was the fact that Jesse and I looked very cozy in those pictures. That thought made me feel a little better, because fuck Elle if she was gonna be like that.
But then I just felt bad.
As soon as we got to the hotel I went straight into the shower. I needed a few minutes alone to blast myself with steamy water and clear my head. It had been such a crazy day.
First, thinking Jesse was meeting someone, probably Elle, behind my back. Ordering Flynn to take me to crash his date, which I should really apologize to both of them for. Then meeting Jesse’s beautiful but obviously troubled sister, and seeing him bent out of shape all night about something. I’d never felt that kind of tension coming off him. The only tension I was used to feeling in Jesse’s presence was of the sexual variety, which was a lot more fun.
Then there was the kick-ass show, which made me both excited to see Dirty play together someday, and depressed as hell that this tour was almost over and I may never actually get the chance to do that… because I could not see myself standing in line to buy a ticket to a Dirty concert sometime next year when they went on their next tour, and standing in the crowd watching them up on stage, out of my reach, like any other fan. The thought almost brought me to tears.
And then there was the run-in with Elle, which made me feel sick to my stomach. And the booze I’d drank to try to numb out that feeling. And the overly-familiar hug from Zane, which had been unexpected, a little flattering and not too out of place in the moment, but now felt kinda shitty. I was wondering if I should tell Jesse about it when the door to the shower opened and he appeared, naked, and stepped into my steam.
“We never had that shower you mentioned,” he said, his arms wrapping around my waist as he pressed up against my backside.
“What shower?”
“You know, the one on your list. Top five kinky things.”
“Oh,” I breathed as he kissed my neck. “That.”
And with that, all the woes of the evening melted down the drain. It was far too distracting showering with a naked, wet Jesse to even remember all the things I thought I was upset about only moments ago. Especially when he started washing me with a soapy washcloth and nibbling my ear, then whispered a heartfelt, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Jessa likes you,” he said, turning me to face him. “I haven’t seen her that happy…” Something dark passed over his features, troubling me all over again. “Well, in a long time.”
“You mean she never table danced with your other girlfriends?”
A slight smile quirked his lips. “That would be a no.”
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