She let out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “Working at the credit union is something to do to pass the time. It’s not me.”
“What is you, then?” Tony asked, not missing a beat. “Tell me one thing that you’re passionate about.”
Cyren’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.
“I don’t know anymore,” she said, and her voice cracked. The reality of the truth was a hard pill to swallow.
Tony took a deep breath, keeping his emotions intact. It didn’t help that Melissa began to rub his back. She was listening since he had her on speaker.
“And that’s okay. “You’re not the same person you were before everything happened. So your answers aren’t gonna be the same either. You don’t have to know everything and have it all figured out. When it all comes to you, watch how aligned and in tune you’ll be,” Tony encouraged.
Cyren’s chest hiccupped as she sniveled. Those damn tears just wouldn’t stay away.
“I’m glad you can see it,” she chuckled, sadly. “Even the thought of going back to get my MBA is daunting.”
She’d dropped out of the master’s program when Nicole passed and hadn’t thought twice about going back to finish it. She didn’t care about class, assignments, goals, or anything. Everything felt pointless, and she was just existing.
“Do you want to go back to school?” he asked.
“At some point, sure. I just feel stuck right now,” she admitted, her vision slightly blurring as she focused on the road.Thankfully, she was almost home and could park. “I feel like I wasted two years on... hell, being lost, and now I’m trying to pick up the pieces with not a clue of what I’m trying to build.”
“But you picked them up. That’s more than what you would’ve done a few years ago, right?”
“Yes,” she quietly said, knowing what he meant.
“Exactly. You weren’t wasting two years, Cy. I know it seems like they floated by, but you grew stronger in those days, even if you can’t see your strength. You don’t have to start over with your MBA. Let’s focus on a small goal,” Tony suggested.
Cyren could handle small. It was a safe zone. Growing in her grief was uncomfortable as hell. It was confusing, too. It felt like she was starting over when, at one point in life, she thought she was well ahead on her way somewhere.
“Maybe I just need a vacation,” Cyren voiced.
Tony chuckled on the other end. “You might need more than that, but I ain’t against it.”
Cyren smiled, faintly, pulling into her aunt’s driveway and putting the car in park. Surprisingly, Skylar was home. She didn’t rush to get out, enjoying their conversation without prying ears.
“I’m serious, though,” Tony continued. “You ever thought about coming out here for a little while? Texas might be good for you. Change of scenery, different pace. You wouldn’t be by yourself either. You’d have me and Melissa. Whit only lives about twenty minutes from us.”
Cyren’s brows slightly lifted. “You’ve been trying to get me to move out there since I graduated.”
“And I’m still trying,” he replied, easily. “I got space, you know that. And you and Whit always got along. She just asked about you the other day.”
Cyren smiled a little more at that. Whitnee felt more like a sister than a cousin growing up. They were close in age and werethick as thieves back then, but life had pulled them in different directions.
“I don’t know, Unc,” she said. Her tone was thoughtful instead of dismissive. “That’s a big move.”
“So was leaving home for school,” he countered. “You handled that just fine.”
“That was different,” she murmured.
“Everything new is different. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.”
Cyren leaned her head back against the seat, staring up through the sunroof. The idea didn’t scare her as much as she thought it would. It just felt like a lot.
“I’ll think about it,” she said after a moment.
“That’s all I’m asking,” he replied. “In the meantime, I’m gonna send you some job applications out here. Nothing too crazy. Just some positions I think you’d be interested in. You don’t have to commit to anything yet.”
Cyren slowly nodded. “Okay.”
