ChapterSix
Dixie’s schoolwould let out in about thirty minutes, but there was some place Beau needed to go first. None of them had heard from Tara since that night at County Line Bar. Not a single text, call, or message anywhere. He had sent her a friend request on Facebook, but she hadn’t accepted it yet, which could have meant anything. Either she didn’t see it, or she denied him. He crossed his fingers for the former, but after the way she ran out on them, it was most likely thelatter.
He parked his truck in front of the dentist office and tried to silence his thundering heartbeat. If he had any other reason for popping in, then this might not have seemed as awkward and uncomfortable as it really was. He didn’t need to make an appointment, not for himself or for Dixie. He was there exclusively to see Tara and he tried to tell himself that it was simply to find out if she was all right and if they could somehow redeem this insane situation they foundthemselvesin.
Deep down, he needed to make sure she was all right instead. Ever since that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He constantly checked his social media and his messages, hoping that she would reach out. But there was only silence. Ringing, heart shattering silence. It was getting to the point that he couldn’t even lasso a calf or set a brand straight, because his mind wouldn’t shut thehellup.
He thought about her laugh, her smile, the way she looked with her hair dripping wet onto her shirt, how the taste of her lips drove him wild. He wondered what she could have been doing at every given moment. If she was having a good day at work. If she had gone back to the coffee shop where they met. If she dreamed about him in the same way that he dreamedabouther.
For a while, he felt like he was going out of his mind. Dixie wasn’t helping matters, because she was just as eager to see Taraagaintoo.
Daniel, made him feel even worse. There was no explaining away what happened that night. His brother had been furious with him at first, flying out in a rage that Beau rarely ever saw him in. After he tried to explain that it was just a kiss and it was Tara who did the kissing and not Beau, Daniel wasn’t pacified in the least. Their attachment was already hanging by a thread and that kiss was the razor that sliced up every last hope either of them had. Beau didn’t know who to be more angry with, himself or Tara for ruining everything that could have been withDaniel.
His brother was given to a mild fit of despondency and hardly came up for air after he buried himself in office work. Between Beau spending extra time in the pastures to get his mind off Tara, and Daniel being so absorbed in his work to ease the pain of losing Tara, Dixie spent quite a bit of time by herself up at the house. She could take care of herself, but an eight year old could get into so much more mischief when she wasunsupervised.
But Beau wasn’t here to beg Tara to come up to the house to occupy Dixie. Tara was probably the last person Daniel wanted to see. He came so he could prove to himself that if he saw her one more time, it would be enough to end this maddening, vicious cycle of puppy love. His job and his sanity depended on it. If he could see her again and not lose his head, then he knew he could get over her again in the same way he got over her before. It’d just take a lot of time and a lot of groveling to get her to come back to theranch.
He was almost relieved to see the lobby a little busy. It meant he would have more time to form what he would say. He didn’t see her at the front desk and for a moment, he wondered if she was even working today. Rebecca was there, her long blonde hair pulled back, but she didn’t seem to notice him yet. Standing behind the elderly man at the counter who was making an appointment to get some bridge work done, Beau craned his neck to peek toward the back of the office and into the file room. From what he could tell, she wasn’t thereeither.
Then, he heard her laugh from down the hall leading to the examination rooms and he thought it was a good thing his hands were in his pockets. Otherwise, all the people waiting in the comfy armchairs might see the way they shook. He thought his heart had been hammering before; now it might have been throbbing right out of hischest.
He took a deep breath to calm himself. This was insane. He had ridden bulls, broken wild mustangs, and even wrestled a boar to the ground with his bare hands. No animal alive struck so much fear into his heart the way Tara did. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and wondered if he should just turn around and walk back to his truck. Sending a text might have been less nerve-rackingthanthis.
But before he could take a full turn, she came hurrying down the hall with a load of files in her arms and hair bouncing around her shoulders. He couldn’t help but grin when he saw her, but as soon as their eyes met, her own smile wilted like a delicate flower in the harsh summer heat. The spark of fear in her eyes told him all he neededtoknow.
Somehow, he had hoped that maybe she just got busy or had other things going on in her life. That wasn’t it at all. Tara had been avoiding them, just as he originally assumed. He never claimed to understand the female mind, but he couldn’t understand why she ran away from the bar the way she did. Was it something in the way Daniel looked at them from across the dance floor? Was it because Beau had pulled away from her when she obviously wanted more? Was she embarrassed, because he didn’t return her kiss the way she hadexpected?
Tara froze for a moment and she shifted as if she wasn’t sure whether to turn and retreat into the back or go to her empty seat besideRebecca.
Beau forced himself to look away and try not to be as confused ashewas.
Tara did come back to the counter and set down the stack of files she had been carrying before walking around the dividing wall between the back area and the lobby. She came right up to him withoutprovocation.
“I’m taking my lunch,” she said over her shoulder to Rebecca. She looked up in mid-sentence and gave her coworker a startled look. Then, one glance toward Beau seemed to curtail whatever reprimand she was about to dish out and then waved her off. Did she understand what they were goingthrough?
Tara leaned over the counter and snatched up her purse before walking with Beau toward the door. At least she saved him the trouble of asking her to leave with him for awhile.
“I came to see how you were doing,” he said once they were standing on thesidewalk.
Tara slipped her purse onto her shoulder and wouldn’t lift her eyes from her feet. “I’m all right,” she said at first. “Work’s been busy and there’s been a lot onmymind.”
If Beau hadn’t seen her first reaction to him in the lobby, he might have believed her. They looked pretty busy as it was, so it was no wonder that Rebecca looked a little miffed that she was taking an impromptu lunch. But what had she been thinking about? Had she been able to untangle this mess,unlikehim?
“Dixie hasn’t stopped asking about you and when you’ll be coming over next.” Beau had to make this seem like it wasn’t about them. He had to gently ease into that topic. “I think she gotspoiled.”
Tara’s smile returned and she nodded. “I had wondered if shewould.”
Beau took a step closer and he saw her stiffen. “I was hoping you’d call. I didn’t want to bother you if you weren’t up for company, but I just wanted to make sure you were allright.”
The torn expression in her eyes made him second guess his previous assumption. Maybe she hadn’t made sense of it all yet. Beau knew exactly how he felt, knew exactly what he wanted. He just couldn’t have it and his devotion to his family prohibited him from expressing how he truly felt. He thought just one dance, one tiny confession wouldn’t be such a big deal. But it had been, and maybe that’s what confused her now. He hadn’t stuck to his convictions and that’s what got them inthismess.
Tara picked at the skin around her nails and didn’t answer for a while. “Can we talk somewhere else? It’s kind of chillyouthere.”
Beau looked across the street to the coffee shop and bookstore where they had met and offered it to her. Sheagreed.
The barrister, Rachel, gave them both a furtive, sly look and fixed their beverages of choice, along with a sandwich for each. It wasn’t until they took a seat at one of the round tables near the corner that Tara even bothered to look at himagain.
The table was barely big enough to hold both sets of legs underneath and Beau had to be careful not to brush her ankles or knees withhisown.
